When I was a young chap,
just a little bouncing boy;
my family was not wealthy
so I had to make do
with second-hand pyjamas
and a single wooden toy.
A dinosaur my daddy made
with balsa wood and glue.

But when i turned 13,
and to high school off I trotted,
I knew imediately
that my dino wouldn't do
'cuz I had noticed all the toys
the other boys had gotted
and I couldn't help myself
I wished that I had got them to

My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood and glue
but before too long I knew
that my dino wouldn't do

When I was 15 years old
I first turned to thievin'
To satiate my cravin' to have things the other kids had
I stole a gnarly skateboard form a skateboard shop one evening
it had bodacious fluero railing and a wickid fluero skidpad

By the following Monday mornin'
the skateboardin' turned to boredom
My appetite for skatin' was abatend(?) in a flash
so I sold my board
and bought a pair of flippers and a snorkel
But soon I borked at snorkeling,
forked my snorkel in the trash

My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood and glue
but before too long I knew
that my dino wouldn't do

At 18 I managed hedge funds
and got fat by drinking beer
At 20 I owned 7 cars and houses on the coast
I fell in love at 23,
with a swedish girl called mia
I bought a 200 quid toaster with which mia made me toast

At 28 I went through like a buddhist kind of thing
and decided that the matieral world and I were through
I hooked up with some Buddhist chicks who said that theyw ere twins
but they didn't look that similiar and they did stuff twins don't do

My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood and glue
but before too long I knew
that my dino wouldn't do

But now I'm 47 stone and 31 years old
I have a kitchen staff of 12
on call 24 hours a day
and a page 3 girl I payed to lick chocoate from my folds
and a rent boy called Lewellen
though I'm neither welsh nor gay

Now to those who judge my lifestyle to be gluttonous and brash
and critize my access acquisition and consumption
i say that critics of the wealthy are just those who don't have cash
and who have never had a prositite spread marmite on their s______

My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood and glue
but before too long I knew
that my dino wouldn't do

My father died a year ago
to dust he's now returned
and I found my wooden dinosaur
which all these years have lasted
and I cremated it and put it with dads ashes in an urn
below a grave stone with three words on it
"Stingy barst-dad"

My daddy made a dinosaur with balsa wood ands glue
which is all very quaint
but I'd rather eat par-guay(?) inside a porsche

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