Adam Sandler The Adventures of the Cow Lyrics

Performed by Adam Sandler, Frank, and Randi

Transcribed by a fan

And now a cow at bat in the bottom of the 6th inning of a little league game getting hit by a pitch.

[Baseball sounds and cow bell ringing,ball is hit and hits cow]
Cow: Moo!
Umpire: Take your base.

And now a cow who goes skydiving for the very first time, and thinks his parachute isn't gonna open, but it finally does 40 feet from the ground.

[Plane sounds]
M1: Alright cow, don't even think about just jump and enjoy the ride down. Quit being a pansy and do it!
Cow: Moo!
[Ripcord sounds]
Cow: Moo. Mrr!
[Parachute opens]
Cow: Moo.
[Thud]

And now a cow who goes to the chicken hot drive-thru, and then gets halfway home before realising they forgot his french fries.

[Cow opening paper bag]
Cow: Moo. Moo?
[Car screeches, and turns back around]
Cow: Mrr!

And now a cow winning first prize in the bellyflop contest at spring break, but then realising he can't swim.

[Cow walking towards pool, big splash]
Cow: Moo!
[Crowd cheering]
Cow: Mrr! Mrr!
[Underwater moo]

And now a cow gets a lap dance at a classy strip club, when a bouncer notices he doesn't have any shoes on.

F1: Ohh, baby, you like it when I dance for you?
Cow: Moo!
F1: Ah, ah, ah, can't touch that!
Cow: Moo!
Bouncer: Keep your hands off the girl!
Cow: Moo!
Bouncer: Hey cow, you got no shoes on. You gotta leave.
Cow: Moo!
Bouncer: Stupid cow.
Patron: Hey, watch it cow!

And now a cow playing tennis against farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle, when the farmer makes an obvious bad call.

[Tennis ball being hit]
Farmer: That was out!
Cow: Moo!
Farmer: Don't tell me it wasn't cause I saw it. It was way out!
Cow: Moo!
Farmer: By at least 3 feet, that's how far. Come and look, man, it's a clay court. There is still a mark where it's out.
Cow: Moo!
Farmer: Do not tell that is from an old ball. That is from this ball, and this ball was out!
Cow: Mrr!
Farmer: You cannot see from that angle, so don't give me any horse s___.
Cow: Moo!

And now a cow recieving a phone call that he thinks is from Anna Nichole Smith, but he soon finds out it's just a practical joke.

[Phone rings, cow picks it up]
Farmer: Hello, may I speak to the cow?
Cow: Moo!
Farmer: Hi, um, I don't often do this. My name is Anna Nichole Smith.
Cow: Moo!
Farmer: Oh, thank you very much. I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me one night?
Cow: Moo!
Farmer: How 'bout I make reservations for us at a restaraunt?
Cow: Moo!
Farmer: I'll put it under my real name: farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle!
Cow: Mrr?!
Farmer: Take that fatty!
[Slams down phone]

And now a cow gets his revenge on farmer Stinky Thumbs Arbuckle.

[Car sounds]
Farmer: Pull over!
Cow: Moo!
Farmer: Pull the vehicle to the side of the road.
Cow: Moo!
Farmer: I am warning you for the last time!
[Car hits farmer]
Farmer: Oooh!
Cow: Mooooooooooooo!