ICP ICP - Dating Game Lyrics

Let's meet contestant number one
He's a schizophrenic, serial killer clown
Who says, woman love his s__y smile
Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon
Sharon, what's your question?

Contestant number one,
I believe first impressions last forever
So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house
And have dinner with me and my family
Tell me what you would do to make
That first impression really stick

CONTESTANT NUMBER 1

Let's see hmmm, well, I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And look your momma in the eye and tell her, f___ YOU!!!
Hurry up b____, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
I'd pinch her lupy a__ and tell her, Get the food ready!
Your dad'll start tripping and get me p___ed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his f___ing lips!
It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
For only 13, she got some big t__s
After that, your dad will probably jump again
But only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin
After your mom does the dishes and the silverware
I'd dry-f___ her till I nut in my underwear

Now, let's meet contestant number two
He's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak
Who works for the Dark Carnival
He says women call him stretch nuts
Sharon, let's hear your question

I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two, if you fell in love with me
Exactly how would you let me know?

CONTESTANT NUMBER 2

First thing, I could never love you
You sound like a richie-b____, yo, f___ YOU!!!
But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care
By taking all these other mother f___ers outta here
I'd go through your phone book, and whack em all
And find contestant number one and break his f___ing jaw
WHAT?!

Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay
I'd be blowing f___ing nuggets off all day
I'd grab your t__ties and stretch em down past your waist
Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face
I'd sing love songs to you, the best I can
Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!
When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
I throw a little in your face and say, I'm just playin
As you spit it all out, I'd rub your back
And grab your underwear and wedge it up your a__ crack!!

Well it sounds like contestant number two
Is just over-flowing with sensitivity, Sharon
It's a tough choice so far
Sharon, let's have your last question and
See which one is going to win the rights to your neden

Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the
same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would
your pick up line be? Well, whoever's the smoothest wins!

CONTESTANT NUMBER 2

Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can't believe how f___ing fat you are
I'd tell that I like the way you make your t__ties shake
And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Rikki Lake!

CONTESTANT NUMBER 1

f___ that, you'd be jacking me quick
I'd order you a drink and stir it with my d___
And then to get your attention in the crowded place
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face

Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that'll get her

Tell her that's she fat, yeah, that'll work even better

Look, f___ you, I got a strong rap

CONTESTANT NUMBER !

s___, you don't want contestant number two
He's mad-wack
I walk into a barn and there he was
Standing up on a bucket, eww, trying to f___ it
It was a big f___ing smelly, a__ farm llama
d___ dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!