Captain Tractor The Last Saskatchewan Pirate Lyrics

Well, I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land along the C. P. line
But times got tough, and though I tried, the money wasn't there
The bankers came and took my land and told me, "Fair is fair"
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh, "We just let twenty go!" (Ha ha!)
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another b__

Then I thought, who gives a d___ if all the jobs are gone
I'm gonna be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan! (Arr!)

{Refrain:}
And it's a heave (ho!) hi (ho!), coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a ho (hey!) hi (hey!), farmers bar yer doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole the fertilizer
Bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear, their stomach's are a-quiver
'Cause they know that Captain Tractor's hiding in the bay
I'll jump the bridge, and knock 'em cold, and sail off with their hay

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He'd follow on the shoreline 'cause he didn't own a boat
But the cutbacks were a-comin' and the Mountie lost his job
So now he's sailing with me and we call him Salty Bob
A swingin' sword, a skull-and-bones, and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (Screw it!)
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me! (Arr!)

Well, the pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here
I hear in north Alberta there's a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort MacKay
And you're gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way
Well, winter is a-comin' and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
I'll be back in springtime, but now I've got to go
I hear there's lots of plunderin' down in New Mexico

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores! (2x)