Brian: ♪When I try to sing, you say I'm off-key.♪

♪Why can't you see how much this hurts me.♪

♪With your perfect beauty and your perfect pitch.♪

♪You're a perfect angel.♪

♪When I come around, must you always put me down.♪

♪If you say my singing is off-key, my love.♪

♪You will hurt my feelings, don't you see, my love.♪

♪I wish I had an ear like yours, a voice that would behave.♪

♪All I have is feeling and a voice God gave.♪

♪You insist my music goes against the rules.♪

♪Yes, but rules were never made for lovesick fools.♪

♪I wrote this little song for you, but you don't care.♪

♪It's a crooked song, ah, but all my heart is there.♪

♪The thing that you would see if you would do your part.♪

♪Is even if I'm out of tune, I have a gentle heart.♪

♪I took your picture with my trusty Rolleiflex.♪

♪And now all I have developed is a complex.♪

♪Possibly in vain, I hope you weaken, oh my love.♪

♪And forget those rigid rules that undermine my dream of.♪

♪A life of love and music with someone who'll understand.♪

♪That even though I may be out of tune,♪

♪When I attempt to say how much I love you.♪

♪All that matters is the message that I bring♪

♪Which is my dear one I love you.♪

{Applause}

Lois: Oh, that was lovely, Brian.

Brian: Oh, great. Thanks.

Was it... uh... was it lovely enough for you to-

Lois: No, I will not make out with you.

Brian: Got it. Won't ask again.

Herbert: Well, hey there, muscley-arm.

Chris: Oh, hi, Mr. Herbert

Lois: Oh, Herbert... How nice to see you.

Herbert: I ain't talkin' to you, hussy.

Hey, Chris. Brought you some candy corns.

Chris: Wow, thanks.

Herbert: You know, you walk by my house everyday only way to catch the scubas. It just makes me wanna sing. So I'm gonna sing you a little song, Chris.

Chris: Cool!

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
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