A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street...
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street...

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
And one says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?"
" I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt!"
"I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt..."

They crept upon that sleeping Scotsman, quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth...
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth...

They marveled for a moment, then one said, "We must be gone."
"Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees,
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes:
"Oh! Lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize!

"Oh! Lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize!"

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