Blink-182 21.Words Of Wisdom Lyrics

Tom: I'm going to come back and I'm going to start a therapeutic massage center only for for...
Mark: I'm going to start my own nudist colony
Tom: That would be grose, you tried that in our bus one time
Mark: I tried to start our own nudist colony in our bus and it was pretty much just me hanging out naked, they love you Tom
Tom: They love me so f___ everybody else
Mark: Yea f___ all you guys out there that are cheering, yea we hate you Tom you suck d___ burn in hell
Tom: Yea f___ that, hey I say I say f___ the hating Tom thing that's what I say, are we ready Mark
Mark: You know what it is you know what it is a lot of these people are just now hopping on the we hate Tom bandwagon, like I've been hating tom since like 1995 I'm old school hating Tom guy alright
Tom: Oh s___, hey let's all say some dirty words, everybody say f___, everybody say s___, everyone say d___, everyone say Mark's an a__ hole
Mark: Everyone say, everyone say we hate Mark, yea
Tom: Hey now let's do this one, everyone say f___ f___ s___ f___, that's the kind of words you should be using at home kids
Mark: That's right
Tom: What do we do now
Mark: I want everyone to call me an a__ hole again
Tom: What's up I like your hair it's very nice
Mark: You like his hair oh cool thanks he probably appreciates that a lot
Tom: I wanted to say I liked your but but I thought that was to foward you know
Mark: Hey this next song is for all the ladies in the hezouse, hea he it's for all the ladies in the heoueoueouze
Tom: Mark!
Mark: What
Tom: Shut the f___ up
Mark: It's for all the ladies in the houaeiouze, weee. Hey you know what hang on I want to make this like a
Tom: (belch) exuse me
Mark: Exuse Tom
Tom: Sorry
Mark: I want to make this like a big golf tournimant everyone shut up everybody just clap like it's a golf tourniment
Tom: That's what it sounds like when I get done having s__, 15,000 people cheering me on, I could take all of you in my bed right f___ing now, but you're not invited Mark. You have got giant b___s and I doubt you're 18, do you have a note from your mom, I want to meet your mom...
Mark: Hey put those 13 year old b___s away, if I wanted to see 13 year old b___s I'd hang out by the Junior high like my dad like my dad does
Tom: Hey you know what I learned in fifth grade
Mark: What's that your dad has a bent weiner
Tom: My dad's weiner was bigger than mine then and still is
Mark: I want everyone here to scream, f___ you Tom,we f___ing hate you you're going to burn in hell and die a horrible firery death cause' we hate you stupid pieces of s___
Tom: I heard that
Mark: Thanks
Tom: You want to give me your shirt, this smells like blood and feces, dinner time ok what does this say here
Mark: It smells like blood and feces, so it's your dad's shirt
Tom: Hey uh just like every other band we believe in a safe form of s__ don't we Mark, that we do so Mark's going to tell you about how safe we are
Mark: Let me tell you about the safest form of s__, it's when you get super drunk and you have s__ with like ten people totally unprotected and you do intravenous drugs at the same time, no it's not true
Tom: It's not true you have to carry a weapon. How many of you guys have girlfreinds and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends, I hope you're not having s__
Mark: And more importanly how many of your girlfriends have girlfriends
Tom: Cause' we believe in the love that exists between two v_____s
Mark: The most special kind of love of all is the love that exists between two naked women while I watch
Tom: We need her to put her shirt back on
Mark: Please
Tom: It just took away my b____, my b____ just died, I had one and now it's gone
Mark: Please I saw your b___s and my wiener ran away. Hey hey hang on everyone everyone seriously I need your attention for just a second please, I think somebody lost a contact down here so everyone look around a contact lense hey someone lost a contact lense so uh...
Tom: I lost my virinity
Mark: Keep an I out for it
Tom: I lost a testacle, hey what if testacles were things you could lose on a everyday basis that would suck, you've only got three, hey I've got to go pee pee
Mark: Do you want to go pee and I'll talk to the kids for a second
Tom: Do you think you can talk for enough time
Mark: No uh uh
Tom: Why don't you gather your thoughts
Mark: Why don't you just wet your pants and we'll call it even
Tom: Should I just p___ in my pants right here, if you guys all pitch in a dollar each I'll p___ my pants right here now, that should pay me about two-hundred bucks maybe
Mark: I'll give you three-hundred dollars to p___ your pants right now
Tom: I'll give you four-hundred bucks to eat my s___
Mark: Sold
Tom: Sold, apparently there's a kid that's hurt right now and I think they're helping them out right now, it looks like they're right there
Mark: Make a hole people make a hole
Tom: All you people over there make way for the hurt kid and bring me their wallet
Mark: I wish now you know let me tell you guys something...
Tom: I'm gay!
Mark: There's thousands and thousands of people here today there's like semis and f___ing buses and multiple bands and all kinds of s___, I wish now I would have taken bass lessons, sorry sorry
Tom: So do I, I wish you did too
Mark: I'm thinking for Christmas this year I'm going to ask for lessons
Tom: I know a guy, he has s__ with his sister, he used his d___ to pop her four foot blister, and I know it's not that cool, he f___ed her in my swimming pool, he's got three testacles, and he loves to do s___, f___ yea. Hey how come every time we say a joke it has to be about f___ing s__ masturbation insest, or anything grose like that you know
Mark: Is there anything else in the world
Tom: There's nothing else to talk about
Mark: Hey can you help that little girl out of there she's not having so much fun right now, hey
Tom: Uh exuse me, security guard sir
Mark: The one right in front of you, yea
Tom: Yea that girl right there needs to come out, if you're a small person the front is not the best view, and if you hate seeing s___ty bands any of this is not a good view, this whole everything every seat here. Mark's middle name is Rebecca, they thought he was a...
Mark: That's right, my middle names Rebecca because my dad wanted a girl, he treats me like one
Tom: I still have to go pee and I'm holding it in still, I'll p___ my pants though for money, I'll eat a nugget of my own p___ for twenty bucks, I'll pay you twenty bucks and I'll eat it
Mark: You shave your a__
Tom: You have hair on nothing but your b____, Mark has no hair on his whole body but a f___ing wolverine growning in his pants, I swear to God, it's got teeth and s___
Mark: It's true
Tom: He's got a scary looking p____
Mark: It's true I need your tax deductable donations for the shave Mark's b____ program, please
Tom: It's for charity kids
Mark: Please send what you can, donate your time
Tom: You guys think that we're touring for our own, no this is a charity tour for Mark's b____
Mark: We're trying to raise enough money to shave my nuts, please give generously
Tom: There's no metal strong enough to be the teeth on any kind of electric shaver, what do we do now, oh I need a new guitar
Mark: We need a new guitar, we need a new guitarist, any one out there play guitar
Tom: Does anybody know how to play guitar cause' I'm not very good, people don't really respect me
Mark: If I were a girl, every time I went to the gynecologist, I'd fake an o_____
Tom: Bad kids
Mark: Bad christmas spirit
Tom: Bad christmas spirit
Mark: Hey ok I need light now
Tom: We're going to point out every single person that didn't sing
Mark: Santa Claus is going to come to your house and s___ under all your trees
Tom: Santa Claus is going to come rape your dogs, Oh God you know what I'm kind of ashamed of being myself today, and yesterday and the day before that, not really pround of who I am or how I look. Any one have one of those days were you don't even really like what you're wearing, you know, you don't like how your hair looks, and kind of b__ed about how your p____ is so small and bent and wierd. That is the ugliest but I have ever seen. Let's hear it for not wiping! And this guy f___ wiping dude, brings down the rain forest. Ok this is a song I wrote...
Mark: That guy has a science fair project up his a__
Tom: Uh what head's up seven up, everyone close your eyes and if I come by and if I come by and put my finger in you but than you're the one.
I think that Satan has a couple of comments:
Well kids it's been a really fun show, and I want you all to know that we'll come back soon, but before I go I want to say I think Tom is extemely good looking and all the girls out there should think he's good looking. Tom has one of the best b___s that I've ever seen, shimi shimi coco puff shimi shimi right shimi shimi coco puff. Does anybody here want to sleep with me. I'm really a nice guy, it's really not Satan...
It's me it's not Satan let's all be happy he's not here say f___ Satan

Alright I'm out of jokes and out of songs, I think we're done.