Andrew Hansen The Eulogy Song Lyrics

My great grand father died this week.
I couldn't stand him actually nobody could.
But as soon as he passed away everybody went around saying what a top bloke he was, so..
I'd like to dedicate this song to you, Gramps.

He was very hard of hearing,
he was dull and domineering,
misogynist, cantankerous and vain.
He hit the bottle every night,
he hit my grandma out of spite,
and those stories about his bunyons were a pain.

But all that's now forgotten,
once he took his final breath.
Yes even p____s turn into top blokes after death.

You don't believe me?
Allow me to furnish you with a few examples..

Steve Irwin lived in khaki,
a cartoon kamikaze,
who taunted crocs and tots so frequently.

And Brocky was some revhead,
who pumped the air with pure lead,
so anti green he drove into a tree.

But all that was forgotten,
once they took their final breath.
Yes even tools turn into top blokes after death.

John Lennon chose the hippy life,
he chose some nutbag for a wife,
his songs were never quite as good as Paul's.

Jeff Buckley fooled all lovers,
just one album, mostly covers,
more wailing than j__an does off our shores.

But all that was forgotten,
once he took his final breath,
yes even w___ers turn into top blokes after death.

Princess Di was just a s___ for s__,
when they looked in the car wreck,
her dress was wet with Arab s____ stain.

Stan Zemanek was a racist,
jock Fatso xenophobic c___,
whose views were more malignant than his brain.

But all that was forgotten,
once he took his final breath,
yes even a___holes turn into top blokes after death.

It's not how they lived that counts,
but how we rewrite the book.
When it comes to truth it's best to use restraint,
it pays to throw away the facts
and have a rose coloured look.
When he dies, Martin Bryant will look a saint.

Don Bradman was a total farce,
a grumpy, greedy tight a___,
who couldn't even score one run last time he played.

Kerry Packer was a brothel chief,
a tax cheat and a kidney thief.
and procreating Jamie was the worst mistake he made.

But all that was forgotten,
once he took his final breath,
yes even **** turn into top blokes after death.

Belinda Emmett was a... (stopped by cast)

Remember all will be forgotten,
once we take our final breath..
yes even pervert motherf**kers,
even rampant child-abusers,
even local Baghdad looters,
even baby bunny rooters,
even reckless drunken drivers,
even rodent sperm imbibers,
even violent poofter bashers,
even public p____ flashers,
even rotting corpse molesters,
even human p___ ingesters,
even tiny kitten kickers,
even a___ finger lickers,
even Anna 'b_____' Coren,
yes even she will be a top bloke after death