Music Videos Afroman Lyrics

Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this blind man, right?
Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right?
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said,
Woooooo, good morning, ladies.
You like that s___, man? Hey, man, I got a gang of that s___, man.
I tell you what- my man on the guitar, fool on the drums,
everybody just crowd around the mic, I'll tell you all these m____-f___in' jokes.
But first, I'ma start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it, homeboy.)
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.

Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale.
When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale.
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan.
I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan.
We f___ed on the bed, f___ed on the flo', f___ed so long, I grew a f___in' afro.
Then I f___ed to the left, f___ed to the right. She sucked my d___ 'til the s___ turned white.
I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my a__ lookin' like a ZEBRA!
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet.
I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4.
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The m____-f___er whooped my a__ all night.
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad, that's the best d___ p____ I ever had.
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I'm a f___ that b____ just one more time.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.

I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but d___ she looked good.
I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a d___ that was bigger than mine.
I met this lady from j__an, never made love with an African.
I f___ed her once, I f___ed her twice. I ate that p____ like shrimp fried rice.
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia.
Had a big b___ and big t__ties, too, so I hopped in her a__ like a kangaroo.
See, I met this lady from Hawaii. Stuck it in her a__, and she said, Aiiiiieeee!
Lips was breakfast, p____ was lunch, then her t__ties busted open with Hawaiian Punch.
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, I'll fry some chicken if you just f___ me.
I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices.

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her t__ties were filled with Hennesy.
That country music nearly drove me crazy, but I rode that a__ and said, Yes, Miss Daisy!
Met this lady in Oklahoma; put that p____ in a coma.
Met this lady in Michigan; I can't wait 'til I f___ that b____ again.
Met a real black girl in South Carolina; f___ed her 'til she turned into a white albino.
f___ed this hooker in Iowa. I f___ed her on credit, so I owe her.
f___ed this girl, down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man, I thought I told ya.
Met this beautiful s__y ho; she just ran cross the border of Mexico.
Fine young thing, said her name's Maria. I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla.
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it. I know I'ma cry when she gets deported.

Have you ever went over to a girl's house to f___, but the p____ just ain't no good? (SAY WHAT?)
And then you're getting' upset cause you can't get her wet, plus you in the wrong neighborhood?
So you try to play it off and eat the p____, but it takes her so long to come (SAY WHAT?)
Then a dude walks in. That's her big boyfriend, and he asks you where you from? (Where you from, man?)
So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain (I don't bang.), you start talkin' real fast.
But he's already mad, cause you f___in' his wife, so he starts beatin' on your a__.
Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all b_____, your d___ was hard but now it's soft. (WHUT?)
You thought you had a girl to rock your world, now you still gotta go jack off.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
[fade out]