[Mrs Johnstone]
Tell me it's not true
Say it's just a story

[Narrator]
So, did you hear the story of the Johnstone twins?
As like each other as two new pins
Of one womb born, on the self same day
How one was kept and one given away?

And did you never hear how the Jonstones died?
Never knowing that they shared one name
Till the day they died, when a mother cried
My own dear sons lie slain

And did you never hear of the mother so cruel?
There's a stone in place of her heart
Then bring her on and come judge for yourselves
How she came to play this part

[Mrs Johnstone]
Once I had a husband
You know the sort of chap
I met him at a dance
And how he came on with the chat

[Teddy]
You dancing? I think you're a bleeding cracker

[Mrs Johnstone]
He said my eyes were deep blue pools
My skin as soft as snow
He told me I was s__ier than Marilyn Monroe
And we went dancing
We went dancing
Then of course I found
That I was six weeks overdue

[Teddy]
What?

[Mrs Johnstone]
We got married at the registry
And then we had a do

[Mrs Johnstone]
We had curly salmon sandwiches
And how the ale did flow

[Guests]
Cheers

[Mrs Johnstone]
They said the bride was lovelier than Marilyn Monroe

[Guests]
And we went dancing
Yes we went dancing

[Mrs Johnstone]
Then the baby came along
We called him

[Mrs Johnstone & Teddy]
Darren Wayne

[Mrs Johnstone]
Then three months on I found that I was
In the club again

[Teddy Boy]
I married a bleeding rabbit

[Mrs Johnstone]
And though I still fancied dancing
My husband wouldn't go

[Teddy Boy]
Get lost

[Mrs Johnstone]
With a wife he said
Was twice the size of Marilyn Monroe
No more dancing
No more dancing
By the time that I was 25
I looked like 42
With seven hungry mouths to feed
And one more nearly due
Me husband he walked out on me
A month or two ago

[Teddy Boy]
Ta ra

[Mrs Johnstone]
For a girl they say
Who looks a bit like Marilyn Monroe
And they go dancing
They go dancing
They go dancing
They go dancing

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