I make a date for golf
And you can bet your life it rains
My flat warming got started
But the b____ next door complained

It seems I'll spend my whole life
Catching colds and missing trains
Everything happens to me

I waited in the rain
For a blind date who never showed
Then a 4x4 drenched my jeans as I tried to cross the road
Got back to the car in time to watch it being towed
Everything happens to me

At first I thought you might break this jinx for me
Your love would bring an end to my despair
That would have been so cool
Not how it's meant to be
Instead you vanished into thin air

I've emailed and I've phoned
Sent a text meassge or two
You told me to p___ off
For that respect is due
I fell in love just once
Did it have to be with you?
Everything happens to me

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