My love life was as humble as my features when I stumbled
On the jumble sale. Unbelievable,
The things that you can find there. They've got stuff of every kind there
At the jumble sale.
I was down and out, I'd nowhere else to go,
I'd sown my oats, I'd flung my fling.
The parish hall was all lit up, its doors were wide.
I poked my nose inside,
Before I'd time to hide
The vicar asked me in.

Romance perchance prevails
At humdrum jumble sales.

With a jaded eye I eyed the faded piles of lumber
Of the jumble sale, rough and tumble sale
Where ladies of the village fight like visigoths for pillage.
Dear old jumble sale.
But behind the cut glass, brass and pewter pots
The plaster p____ cats, the china gnomes
I saw a girl, a wild eyed b___erfly
Junoesque but shy
And just the thing for my
For my mantelpiece at home.

Chick of the bric-a-brac
Pick of the vicar's knick-knacks

With a pounding pulse I skulked around the bulky counters
Of the jumble sale, fumbling at bundles
Of those long-departed trousers, old pyjama-tops and blouses
Found at jumble sales.
I'd not got the savoir faire, the flair,
I hardly dare look over at her stand.
But with determination which defies belief
All set to come to grief
I grit my snaggle teeth
And I took her by the hand.

One bob per objet d'art
Gratis and carte blanche my heart.

Iacta was my alea, my chips were down and numbered
At the jumble sale. But suddenly my tongue tied,
I just burbled, I just b__bled, I was sure my chance had crumbled
At the jumble sale.
I just stood there in a funk, a dumbstruck b___oo
Gawping at her pretty bibelots.
But then she smiled. Not much, but I knew then
I'd see her lips again,
Her bijoux and her gems
And her precious curios.

Perchance romance prevails,
So come to some humdrum jumble sales,
Jumble sales.
Come to some crummy jumble sales.

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