I still haven't found a girlfriend
Though I've tried a lot
So can you help me please
It's tougher than I thought
The odds are pretty good
But the goods are pretty odd
Still at this point I'd take anything you've got

You see this all the time nice girls in love with jerks
What could they be thinking tell me how it works
If I've got some problems
Well I wouldn't be the first
But the ones I have in mind are even worse

And even Hitler had a girlfriend
Who he could always call
Who'd always be there for him in spite of all his faults.
He was the worst guy ever
Reviled and despised
Even Hitler had a girlfriend so why can't I?
Why can't I?

Life is full of contradictions hard to understand
And for every happy woman there's a lonely man.
Nixon had his puppy
Charles Manson had his clan
But God forbid that I get a girlfriend.

Even Hitler had a girlfriend
Who he could call his own
To sweeten days of bitterness
And feeling all alone
I'm not as bad as Hitler
But it doesn't mean a thing
Since they'd rather be with Hitler more than me
I don't see
Why they'd rather be with Hitler more than me.

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