Chef No Substitute Lyrics

[Spoken]
You know Kathie Lee, you are a very special woman
I don't mean special in a Mary Tyler-Moore way
Or an extra-value meal at Happy Burger way
No, I mean SPECIAL... Like...
The song of the hummingbird as it gets ready to find that female hummingbird
And -- make sweet love to it -- all night long
Just two hummingbirds moaning' and groanin'
And letting their bodies caress and touch each other in ecstasy
Slowly, the male hummingbird gets behind the female hummingbird
And eases his way into her golden valley
Gliding gently in and out, in and out, ooh, in and out
Two hummingbirds doin' it doggy style all night long
Until finally the male hummingbird screams with passion
And lets his little humming gravy fly all over the nest
And it makes me wanna
It makes me wanna sing this special song for you
Yeah, baby, yeah mama

[Sung]
Ooh Kathie Lee, you're such a special woman to me,
How I'd love to lay you down
And lick every inch of your body
With my tongue
Kathie Lee, you're my s__ual fantasy
How 'bout you and me?
Get it together and make sweet love...

'Cause nobody can take your place
No way they can match your face,
No, you got it goin' on in a way so clear
I just wanna buy you a beer

[Spoken]
I thought maybe tonight at seven thirty or seven, I could come by and...

[Sung]
...Pick you up in my car
(No substitute) No substitute for you
(No substitute)
No baby there's (no substitute) for your girl
(No substitute) for you now

I know you love my body so much
It's something you can't help but touch, ooh
I might let you if you promise to be gentle,

[Spoken]
Now I'm gettin' all sentimental

Maybe tonight after pickin' you up in my car
We can park down over by the gas station
That closed two weeks ago and make love in the back seat and...

[Sung]
...Drop you off at home
(No substitute) No substitute for you
(No substitute) No baby there's
(No substitute) Come on baby say it
(No substitute) For you now

[Spoken]
Now you remember our two hummingbirds
Well after their night of passion
The male hummingbird couldn't sleep or eat
All he could think about was that incredible night
When things were flyin' all over the place
And beaks were where they should be
So he put his beak lips together and whistled a song
Calling that female hummingbird back for another night of fire
Just like I'm calling out for you, baby
"Hey, get your a__ over here for some good lovin'"

[Sung]
There's only one word that can describe you
You're a flippity-floppity-hootchy-mama-woowoo
You've got everything I ever wanted

[Spoken]
My metaphor's all been exhausted

So what say you and I forget about this singin' and songin'
And act like a couple of hummingbirds ourselves...

[Sung]
...And get down to some business
(No substitute) No substitute for you
(No, no, no substitute)
No baby there's (no substitute) for you girl
(No substitute) for you girl (no substitute)
For you (no, no, no, no, no, no substitute)
For you girl

(Ladies and gentlemen, the Fabulous Chefettes)

(No) no (no) subs (subs) sti (tute) for (you)
Ba (by) no (no) no no no (no) for you yeah,
(No substitute) for you Kathie Lee, yeah