Red Peters/Red Peters Holy Shit, It's Christmas Lyrics

Hamster #1: Did you hear that?
Hamster #2: Hey everybody, Santa's here!
Hamster #3: Aw, there ain't no Santa Claus.
Hamster #2: There is too, man!
Hamsters: He's here!!!

Red: Ho, ho, ho... Merry Christmas!
Hamster #1: Aw ****, it's Red Peters!
Red: C'mon, you swinging hamsters, get over here. We're gonna sing us a happy Christmas song.
Hamster #3: Oh no, not another corny stupid song!
Hamster #2: Yeah no way, Red.
Red: Get over here and sing or I'll wring your little necks.
Hamsters: Okay, okay!

Red:
Grab your nuts hamsters, gather round with me.
Forget about all that teasin'.
We're breaking out the holly and aluminum tree
'Cause it's that jolly season. (Oh, boy!)
I know you've been naughty, but have you been nice?
That's only Santa's business (That's right, Red!)
He's making his list and he's checking it twice. (Uh-oh.)
All: Holy ****, it's Christmas!

Hamsters:
Santa comes just once a year (Tell 'em, Hamsters!)
Just like you, Red. That's what we hear. (Hey, wait a minute!)
He's got a soft spot for reindeer. (Aw, that's nice.)
Especially Rudolph's derierre.

Red:
Hey, knock it off fellas. It's a holiday.
Go on and give Santa a big kiss. (No way!)
You can play "hide the hamster" on the one-horse sleigh. (Hey, wait a minute!)
All: Holy ****, it's Christmas!

Hamster #1: Heck, we don't need no lyric sheets, Red. We know our parts by heart. Right, fellas?
Hamster #3: Yeah sure, I know my part, Godfried.
Hamster #2: Yeah, me too.
Red: Well, that's great, guys. I love Christmas songs.

Godfried: Santa tried reaching up the neighbor's blouse
After drinking all the egg nog (Is that necessary?)
Bruce: He camped out in the bathroom for an hour or two
Squashing off a yule log (Godfried!)
Raleigh: He wandered in his undies all over the house
But we minded our own business (Oh, brother!)
Hamsters: 'Til we caught him stuffing hamsters up a gift wrap tube.
All: Holy ****, it's Christmas!

Red:
Santa comes just once a year.
Up the chimney he'll disappear.
Hamsters:
Keep on the lookout for Mr. Gear

Red:
Roast nuts chestin' on an open fire
Santa's tongue stuck to the doorknob
His b____ got fondled by a caroling choir
While the parson gave him a handj...what?
The sleigh came down and took him away.
The whole d___ crowd was dismissed.
All:
It was a time to be jolly and a time to be gay.
Holy ****, it's Christmas. (Holy ****, it's Christmas!)
Holy ****, it's Christmas. (Hey, what are you doing?)
Holy ****! It's Christmas!