Just hear those noses snifflin' sore throats ticklin' too
Come on it's lousy weather to be sufferin' inside with the flu
Outside the snow is fallin' your fever's at a hundred and two
Let's take some Alka-Seltzer and a box of antihistamines too

We'll bring some Kleenex with us and sing a chorus or two
Let's let my red nose lead us in a sleigh ride in spite of the flu

Hack it up hack it up fling it up let's go phlegm chunks in the snow
We're coughing up a yellow and green rainbow
Cough it up cough it up cough it up oh man there's some on my hand

My glands are puffed and swollen and every hour I pee
My throat's as rough as leather and raspy as it can be
Let's take some Kleenex with us and sing a carol or two
We'll make our noses redder on the sleigh ride to go with the flu

My kid came home from preschool with a cough today
He'll infect the whole darn neighborhood in about a day
Well be calling in sick to work until the diarrhea stops
At the pharmacy we'll get lots more pills to pop
Pop pop pop

I took every medication I can legally buy
For coughing sneezing sniffling and the watery eyes
I'll be gettin' real drunk on NyQuil I'll take Contac 'till I'm high
This wonderful buzz is great but I'm glad I don't have to drive

Just hear those noses snifflin' sore throats ticklin' too
Come on it's lousy weather to be sufferin' inside with the flu
Outside the snow is fallin' your fever's at a hundred and two
Come on it's lousy weather for a flu ride together with you

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