On the first day of christmas, me girlfriend sucked me d___
I had to stop myself from coming really quick

On the second day of christmas she kissed me b______s too
She gave me a b_______, you know the way the women do

On the third day of christmas I had my head between her legs
With my tounge I tried to fertilise her eggs

On the forth day of christmas her p___s were up me nose
By now you'll think I'm s__ mad I suppose

First she sucked me d___
Kissed me b______s too
p___s were up me nose
I said "mind me cartilage, me pins are in my bare knee"

On the fifth day of christmas I stopped for a pause
I noticed these big skid marks on her draws

On the sixth day of christmas I thought She's very loose
Too late, my tounge was soaked in f____ juice

On the seventh day of christmas I was staring at this lass
Well I was staring at this paper stuck to her a___

On the eighth day of christmas I started to feel ill
On the paper it said Newcastle had lost two-nill

First she sucked me d___
Kissed me b______s too
p___s were up me nose
Skid marks on her draws
She stunk of f____ juice
Newspaper on her a___
I started to feel ill
To part a fart and lick a hairy place where the girls pee

On the ninth day of christmas, I'd been s___ging for eight days
I must have f___ed this girl a thousand different ways

On the tenth day of christmas without being too blunt
To be honest I'd had enough of her large c___

On the eleventh day of christmas i went to see the quack
He said "my dear boy you've been licking too much crack"

First she sucked me d___
Kissed me b______s too
p___s were up me nose
Skid marks on her draws
Stunk of f____ juice
Newspaper on her a___
I started to feel ill
I'd been s___ging for eight days
It's blunt to mention c___
I'd been licking too much crack
But now my tart's frigid and that's a reality

On the twelfth day of christmas, found out she'd given me AIDS

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