MC Paul Barman School Anthem Lyrics

It's true most of the time in class I was tempted to "Fool Around Man"
(laughs)
That's what it was, yeah... You'd be bored and you'd figure
"Well why not deprive someone else of their education"

Verse 1:
I may be kidding school's just babysitting
I knew girls in AP classes knitting, so tedious
Homework is tell major lies or plagiarize encyclopedias, so boring
Fresh-faced teachers want to tickle 'em
but a test-based curriculum excludes exploring
I'll let a mystery gas out of my blistery a__
Just to disrupt the misery of history class
And to entertain your tender brain
When your pain is the same as a fender bender with a train
a___yze the engines if you gotta go to the rhododendrons
Cut class then serve detentions
Say toodle-oo to the trimmed poodles who
Will grow up to be the adults you now hate, I know what's futile too
Like throwing a spear at Choate, I'm not here to gloat
I want to be used as your yearbook quote
Abolish class rank, pour sugar in its gas tank
Weighted grades really yank my a__ crank
And stop up my leak hole
English and autoshop should be equal
Anyway an A is a weak goal
So stultifying, It's hard to hold off dying
I'm spying on a lobbyist, It's obvious
Double teachers' salaries and hire smarter
Discard the farters who only inspire fire starters
What is the meaning of C.L.A.S.S.?
Is it a Conspiracy Levelled At Sleepy Students trying to pass?
<Scratching> "Oh my, What a disgrace..."

Verse 2:
Make like a whirlybird and graduate early, word
Or pull all the stops out
Make the proprietors of a mom and pop shop's eyes pop out
And drop out
When I yawn it's hard to hold in drool, drawn dreams of a molten pool
Of magma rock raining Ragnarok
On the whole d___ school
Scenes of the old and fool-ish and possibly cruel
Administrators being told the Golden Rule
While rolled in stool
Superficial superintendant
Repainting the facade and bannister
I'm going to switch your contact lens vial
for a Drosophilia Melanogaster cannister:
I found college awkward another teacher, same old chalkboard
I felt I was shifting bawkward when I expected to shoot forward
Could I possibly have been more bored?
Realistically, a stressful sideways
Still skipping readings, still waiting for Fridays
School was so d___ boring
It left me colder than the o-ring
Which would not expand and destroyed the USS Challenger in 1986
An overhaul is long overdue
I'm 0 for 2, If so are you
Catch the fever from Wallace Shawn
To destroy school 'til all is goooooooone
<Scratching> "He was the first one to get a Hawaiin nose-humming"
"a___yze the results"