ICP The Dating Game Lyrics

Host: lets meet contestan number 1, he's a schizopherenic serial killer clown
who says women love his s__y smile. Let's find out if his charm will work on
Sharon. Sharon, what's your question?

Sharon: Contestant #1, i believe first impressions last forever. So lets
say you were to come over to my parent's house and have dinner with me and my
family, tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stick.

Contestant #1: Let's see... well i'd have to think about it. I might show up in
a tux ha but i doubt it. I'd probably just show up naked like I always do, and
look your mama in the eye and tell her f___ you! Hurry up b____ i'm hungry, I
smell spaghetti, i pinch her limpy a__ and tell her get the food ready. Your
dad would probably start trippin' and get me p___ed, I'd have to walk up and
bust him in his f___in' lip. It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your
mother i'd pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother. I'm steady
starin' at your sister, I'll tell you this, you know for only 13 she got some
big t__s! After that, your dad would try to TRIP again, and only this time I'd
put the 40 to his chin. After your mom does the dishes and the silverware, I'd
DRY f___ her till i nut in my underwear...

(applause and laughter)

Host: Now lets meet Contestant number 2. He's a psychopathic deranged crackhead
freak who works for the dark carnival. He says women call him stretch nutz.
Sharon let's here your question.

Sharon: I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotion, a man who
expresses himself in his own special way. Number 2, if you fell in love with
me, exactly how would you let me know?

Contestant #2: First thing, I could never love you. You sound like richy b____
yo f___ You! but if i did, I'd probably show you that i care by takin' all
these other m________ers outta here. I'd go through your phone book and wack
'em all, then find Contestant number 1 and break his f___in jaw (what!?).
Anyone who looked at you would have to pay. I'd be blowin' f___in nuggets off
all day. I'd grab your t__ties, and stretch 'em down past your waist, let 'em
go and watch 'em both spring up in your face. I'd sing love songs to ya the
best I can, get ya naked and hit it like a CAVE MAN! Then we go to the beach and
walk through the sand i throw a little in your face and say i'm just playin'.
as you spit it all out I rub your back and grab your underwear and wedge it up
your a__ crack!

(applause and laughter)

Host: Well it sounds like Contestant number 2 is just overflowing with
sensitivity Sharon. It's a tough choice so far. Sharon lets have your last
question and see which one is gonna win the rights to your neden

Sharon: Ok, if we were at a dance club and you both noticed me at the same
time, tell me, how would you each get my attention and what would your pick up
line be? Whoever's the smoothest wins!!

C#1: Ok, first, I'd slide up to the bar and tell you that I can't believe how
f___ing fat you are. I'd tell you that I like the way you make your t__ties
shake and if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake

C#2: f___ That! You'd be jackin' me quick. I'd order you a drink and stir it
with my d___, and then to get your attention in a crowded place, I'd simply
walk up and stick my nuts in your face.

C#1: Yeah freak her with your nuts yo that'll get her

C#2: Tell her that she's fat, yeah that'll work even better

C#1: Look, f___ you, i got a strong REP you don't want Contestant number 2
he's mad whack, I walked into a bar and there he was, standing on a bucket
(uhhhh) tryin' to f___ it, it was a big f___ing smelly a__ farm LLAMA

C#2: d___ dawg!How ya gonna dis your mama??!!!