[Mrs. Lovett]
Seems a downright shame...

[Sweeney Todd]
Shame?

[Mrs. Lovett]
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has!
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift,
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift,
If you get my drift!
Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...

[Sweeney Todd]
HAH!

[Mrs. Lovett]
Good, you got it!
Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only p____cats and toast!
Now a p____'s good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!

[Sweeney Todd]
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion

[Mrs. Lovett]
Well, it does seem a waste...
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!

It's an idea...

[Sweeney Todd]
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!

[Mrs. Lovett]
Think about it!
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave,
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

How choice!
How
Rare!

[Sweeney Todd]
For what's the sound of the world out there?

[Mrs. Lovett]
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?

[Sweeney Todd]
Those crunching noises pervading the air!

[Mrs. Lovett]
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!

[Sweeney Todd]
It's man devouring man, my dear!

[Mrs. Lovett]
And who are we to deny it in here?

[Sweeney Todd]
These are desperate times,
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!

[Mrs. Lovett]
Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!

[Sweeney Todd]
What is that?

[Mrs. Lovett]
It's priest. Have a little priest.

[Sweeney Todd]
Is it really good?

[Mrs. Lovett]
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.

[Sweeney Todd]
Awful lot of fat.

[Mrs. Lovett]
Only where it sat.

[Sweeney Todd]
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

[Mrs. Lovett]
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!
Lawyer's rather nice

[Sweeney Todd]
If it's for a price

[Mrs. Lovett]
Order something else and to follow since no one should swallow it twice

[Sweeney Todd]
Anything that's lean?

[Mrs. Lovett]
Well then if your British and loyal you might enjoy Royal Marine, anywhere it's clean, though of course it tastes like wherever it's been

[Sweeney Todd]
Is that squire,
On the fire?

[Mrs. Lovett]
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!

[Sweeney Todd]
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!

[Mrs. Lovett]
No, it has to be grocer
It's green!

[Sweeney Todd]
The history of the world, my love

[Mrs. Lovett]
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!

[Sweeney Todd]
Is those below serving those up above!

[Mrs. Lovett]
Ev'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!

[Sweeney Todd]
How gratifying for once to know

[Mrs. Lovett]
That those above will serve those down below!

[Sweeney Todd]
What is that?

[Mrs. Lovett]
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!

[Sweeney Todd]
Put it on a bun.
Well, you never know if it's going to run!

[Mrs. Lovett]
Try the friar,
Fried, it's drier!

[Sweeney Todd]
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!

[Mrs. Lovett]
Then actor,
That's compacter!

[Sweeney Todd]
Ahh always arrives overdone!
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu!

Have charity towards the world, my pet!

[Mrs. Lovett]
Yes, yes, I know, my love!

[Sweeney Todd]
We'll take the customers that we can get!

[Mrs. Lovett]
High-born and low, my love!

[Sweeney Todd]
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone,

[Sweeney Todd], [Mrs. Lovett]
Meaning anyone,
And to anyone
At all!

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