I once knew a girl named Emily, we were steadily becoming more than just friend-a-ly, she was diggin me heavily, if only she was prepared to see how scary i could really be

Met her at a strip club as one always does, the best kinda b____es give love for a hundred bucks

I was sittin front row cuz, I dont know what happened to the show but suddenly she comes then ma d___ gets an ounce of blood,

It was like total love at first sight, ma black a__ started turnin white, hadnt been blessed with an a__ this fine in my entire life

I had to give it my best try, it was a race against time, to find some alcoholic drink to buy, then maybe i could touch the divine after knocking her up with white-wine

Seeing her t__ties bounce I had to grab her cell, or at least her myspace, bebo or something else

But now first step was getting her to come down, get her to check ma rapper a__ out, find something meaningless to talk about then afterwards we could go out and hit the town.

[chorus] Sugar! I want you in my sack

I Love you, ohhhhhh so much I wanna slop it in. |||

I caught her attention by presenting my throbbing johnson, I guess her responce was not what i was wantin

But she had a promise to the audience, still i destroyed her performance, display of mistakes like a volcano lying dormant

She ran da f___ out back and called security, said "there was a luny two seats from me with his rod out gettin dirty"

Here i was thinking she was tryna flirt with me, man i swear i don't deserve this G!

Next thing there's a towering man with a club in his hand, taking a stand tryna intimidate my black a__

But what he couldnt grasp is the fact that i would crash land in afganistan for even half a chance to have a grab of this nymphomaniac

And no neck I wouldnt snap to be this strippers number one man and id do all i can to get this mo'f___er to understand that i really truly give a d___

Didn't put up a good fight, nearly got clubbed to death, reality check - i needed to get back ma respect, instead of being a bleeding wreck

regretting i didnt get out of the gutter and back onto the deck

[chorus]

Ahoy maties here comes captain 'f___-yo-hoe', back from death-row to axe yo in yo frontal lobe!!

Alright f___ers let's go, my new found powers are untold, not even a super saiyan can behold what i feel from my fingers to my toes

Regain myself and get up on my feet, this aint no retreat, i surely aint admitting defeat, coz im just plain hard to beat, time to go in and grab me something sweet

Snuck in through the backdoor, ready to s_____ me a w____ like Bush s_____ed that election from Al Gore, this wasn't soft-p___ this was all that and more

So what was I waiting for? Emily's encore to find a conclusion to draw, I was in awe seeing all them senile jaws fall to the floor

Finally Emily decided to pack it in, her manager gave her a pat on the back again, such a turn of events compared to the stagnant flack she got from her friend's

But I couldnt care less, about her filthy descent, money on her to me was money well spent,

how conveniant there was a price-tag between her legs, access granted for a matter of a few notes and cents

Guess that sorts me until Emily repents.

[Half chorus]

From the corner of her eye she spied me in the hallway, Had a feeling she had known I had wanted a bone all day,

Her heart started to race when she remembered my face, "hey you're that guy i got thrown out of this place!"

I said, "babe why ya gotta be dat way?! Im a willing customer and im ready to pay!" She said,

"you jerk I dont swing that way! Im a stripper not a hooker, afterall I have tastes"

You could say i was a bit slow on the uptake, what f___ing difference does it make if you take off your clothes or you're a full blown hoe?

Your dignity's still at stake. And hence forth came a pointless debate which would hopefully at a later stage get me engaged in a hot date.

Can't really say things got that far, told her i was a rap super-star with a flash f___in car and had super-powers and could see in the dark

She thought i was a r_____ who couldnt really see far, but i was a believer and said i breeded datura from Europe and "this was the true skunk"

I got a few giggles but mainly she was unimpressed, thought i was under house arrest for being such a blundering d___head from Bangladesh

But she still didn't get the message that I was on a love quest

[chorus]

See also:
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Down Mourn Lyrics