Old Man Strong
Bobby! Bobby, reason with the woman. I'm a little short this morning.

Bobby
He's my Pa, Ms. Pennywise. Can't he come in for free? Just this once?

Penny
Get your head out of the clouds, Bobby Strong. No one gets in for free.
Every morning you all come here. And every morning some of you got
reasons why ya ain't gonna pay. And I'm here to tell ya ya is gonna pay!

Old Man Strong
In the name of God, Penny, what difference could it make?

Penny
What difference?!

"Times are hard"
"Our cash is tight"
"You've got no right"
I've heard it all before
"Just this once"
Is once too much
Cause once they've onced
They'll want to once once more

I run the only toilet
In this part of town, you see
So, if you've got to go
You've got to go through me

It's a privilege to pee
Water's worth its weight
In gold these days

No more bathrooms
Like in olden days
You come here and pay a fee
For the privilege to pee

Twenty years we've had the drought
And our reservoirs have all dried up
I take my baths now in a coffee cup
I boil what's left of it for tea
And it's a privilege to pee

The politicians in their wisdom saw
That there should be a law
The politicians taxed the toilets
And made illegal
Public urination and defecation

So, come and give your coins to me
Write your name here in the record book
The authorities will want to look
If you've been regular with me
If you've paid the proper fee
For the privilege to pee

Bobby
But Ms. Pennywise -

Penny
I said no buts, Bobby. You're a sweet lookin' boy and I likes to keep
you around, but this man ain't comin' in without payin'. Not this time.

Old Man Strong
I can't wait much longer, Bobby. There's no tellin' what I might do!

Penny
You think you've got
Some kind of right?

The Poor
Kind of right, kind of right!

Penny
You think you'll come in here and go for free?

The Poor
Snag a freebie!

Penny
The only thing you'll get it "no" for free!

The Poor
Negatory!

Penny
I'm a business gal, you see

The Poor
Business gal you see!

Penny
I sell the
Privilege to pee!

The Poor
It's a privilege to pee

Penny
The good Lord made us
So we'd p___ each day
Until we p___ away
The good Lord made sure
That what goes in men
Must soon come out again
So you're no different then
From lowly me

The Poor
Me
Lowly me
Lowly me
Lowly me
Lowly me!

Bobby
But, Ms. Pennywise -

Old Man Strong
That's enough, Bobby.

Penny
And I think I'll charge you twice

Old Man Strong
No need to jeopardize your position.

Penny
Or better yet, have you arrested

Old Man Strong
I'm through with all this, you see.

Penny
Since you prefer the law gets tested

Old Man Strong
Scrapin' cash three times a day

Penny
And in Urinetown you'll see

Old Man Strong
Crazy with the nitrates half the time

Penny
Why it's dumb to fight with me

Old Man Strong
It's no way to live, I tells ya. No way to live.

Penny
For the privilege to pee!

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