I'd love to see Madonna in her knickers
Saddam Hussein blown to bits
I'd love to see my tax bills stuck up John Major's a___
But most of all, Dolly Parton's t__s

Didn't that Fred West have more hair than f___ing brains?
Does Elton John really have a wig that fits?
But most of all, you know, I'd feel ten feet tall
If I could see Dolly Parton's t__s

'Cos they're so big and soft and round
And they don't make a sound
And they'll go down great in history
I've a lump inside my pockets
Just thinkin' of Dolly's rockets
Well here it comes again this fantasy

I'd like to see Prince Hamed lose a fight just for once
Or Princess Fergi's ginger minge get nits
I'd like to hear the Queen say "this c___ of a family's let me down"
And the whole of France get the f___ing s___s

I'd like to see Michelle Phifer change her Tampax
Barrymore find a d___ that actually fits
But most of all, I'd feel ten feet tall
If I could suck Dolly Parton's t__s

'Cos they're so big and soft and round
And they don't make a sound
And they'll go down great in history
I've a lump inside my pockets
Just thinkin' of Dolly's rockets
Well here it comes again this fantasy

I'd like to know who the f___ Alice is (Who the f___ is Alice?)
I'd like to see OJ Simpson back in the dock
I'd like to see myself in bed with half a dozen tarts
I wish I'd had as many f___s as Bill Whyman's c___

I'd love to see a midget get his arms round Cyril Smith
I wish this f___ing song'd become a hit
But most of all, I'd feel ten feet tall
If I could suck Dolly Parton's t__s

'Cos they're so big and soft and round
And they don't make a sound
And they'll go down great in history
I've a lump inside my pockets
Just thinkin' of Dolly's rockets
Well here it comes again this fantasy

Well here it comes again this fantasy
Well here it comes again this fantasy
Well here it comes again this fantasy

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