If it's easier to discuss this
privately without you dad
the minister who doesn't take
kindly to your pervert suits then

I'll oblige.

Wasn't you that was found with your pants
watching your favourite cartoon
yelling at the shopkeeper
for the changing of the channel

say to your self:
"Be still my beating off"

well it may be inappropriate
for someone in your position
as a cop to satisfy
yourself at the local blue light

say to yourself:
"Be still my beating off"

there's no crime when you choose your time
and your place to m_________ in a public place
you will be disgraced, it's your right to choose
(whether or not) if you'll be on the news.

Well I'm sure the judge will look lightly
on your case considering him
earlier at the footy having a one off the wrist then
say to yourself:
"Be still my beating off"

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