The Bonzo Dog Band Shirt Lyrics

Spoken intro by on-the-street reporter:

Hello, well that was the sound of Roger's Wah Wah Rabbits. You heard them eating endive there. That's very cheap at this time of the year. But now here in Willesden Green...yes, brrr...it's a bit chilly, but no matter, because here comes a gentleman and we're going to talk to him about shirts!

Excuse me, sir, would you mind talking to us about shirts?
Do what?
About shirts.
Shirts?
Yes.
Cause I've got plenty at home.
Good grief.

And here comes a lady with an enchanting little kangaroo. And I'm going to ask her something about shirts. No I'm not. Because she's given me a rather a vulgar sign.

Would you.... Excuse me, would you mind, we're talking about shirts.
Huh?
About shirts.
Shirts?
Yes, the problem of shirts. The kind of...um, you know, are they necessary? Shirts.
Where it is.
Where it is. Yes, where is shirts?
I don't know.
You don't know.

Um, oh dear.
There's a gentleman marching down here with a very determined stride. He looks a little cautious. He's hopping. Excuse me, sir, would you mind talking to me for a moment at all?
Uh, uh, what do you mean, guv'nor? What do you want to know?
Well, we're talking about shirts. About are they still necessary do you think? I mean, do you think they should they stop making shirts?
Oh, no, not at all. A man's not dr...not dressed unless he's got a nice shirt on, guv'nor, is he?
Not really, I suppose. What about the lengths of the shirt? Because the old ones used to be very long.
Well, I'm more for the short shirt. The old types old-fashioned, mate.
Gotta be a bit modern these days, guv'nor, ain't yer? Yes?
Well, you're certain with it, anyway?
Well, you've got to be with it.
Of course. It's, uh...
Yes.
...Right. Okay, well thank you very much. See you.
Right-ho! Bye-bye!
Bye-bye.

Well, I think we're going to have to leave it there and I'm going to take you right away straight over to the Earls Court Olympia to watch the shirt event. I'll repeat that...the shirt event. I'll repeat that...the shirt event. I'll repeat that...the shirt event. I'll repeat that...the shirt event.
Second spoken intro as music begins:

Good morning. Could I have this shirt cleaned "express," please?
Yes, that'll be three weeks, dearie.
Three weeks? But the sign outside says 59-minute cleaners!
Yes, that's just the name of the shop, luv. We take three weeks to do a shirt.
Just the name of the shop!?
Yes, that's if there's an R in the month, otherwise it's four weeks. Your name does begin with a P, doesn't it?
Well, no, actually, of course it's uh....
Well that'll be five weeks, then.
Five weeks? Blimey!
Singing:

Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shakin' the shirt.
Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shakin' the shirt.
Well they're shakin' my shirt all over the place
But it's been thrown right back in my face.

Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shakin' the shirt.
New horizons in sound now as Roger plays a solo on the electric shirt collar.
Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shakin' the shirt.

Shirt! Shirt! Shirt! Shakin' the shirt.