Taishi Masaoka Ohgiri (Drama) Lyrics

(Drums, applause from the audience in the hall)

Haruko: Ok...so that takes us to an Ohgiri performed by the Fooly Cooly Members. I'm Haruko, who's closest to Enraku Shishou (Teacher Enraku) in character, and I will be leading the procedure. I wonder which part of my character I'm talking about... anyway... let's start out with the introductions by subtly changing the characters.
Naota: Hey. I'm Naota. I want to fight someone strong. When I meet up with someone strong, I get all excited. There's nothing incredible going on. Only predictable things happen. If that's the case, I want to make something incredible happen.

(Audience laughter )

Haruko: Let's hear it for Takkun! Takkun, I hope you didn't self-destruct by doing something you're not used to. Ok, next!
Mamimi: Here's Mamimi.

(Audience laughter)

Haruko: Is that it? That was a really simple intro. Oh well. Next!
Amarao: I'm Amarao.
Haruko: Huh? What the heck is that?
Amarao: I'm Amarao. I'm trying to sound like "Sazae-san."
Haruko: You need to raise up the end of the phrase, otherwise you just sound like a polite person. Ok...the last one.
Kamon: This is Kamon.

(Audience laughter)

Haruko: You made the same joke! I fell off my chair, dude. Which is all pretty fun. Ok! Let's get started. Mimyu will be bringing all of you your zabutons.*
(* Note: A zabuton is a traditional sitting mat / floor cushion)
Mimyu: Po pe po pen!
Haruko: Oh...ok ok. Here's our first topic. As if I'm reading. Ok...today I want you all to come up with the never-before-heard Fooly Cooly story number 7. Ok, then, starting with Takkun...
Naota: Summer vacation...as always, we go off to our seaside school...
Haruko: Hmmm...that's not really realistic...
Naota: Oops! They'll find out. Keep your voice down. Don't push...we'll get into trouble. Oh no!
A girl: Ohh no! Teacher, Daichi is...
Naota: Yes, it was the start of our seaside school with plenty of trouble ahead.
Mamimi: At that moment, s___e and time got twisted, and Naota and the others went into a time slip. They came upon the civil war period, right into the middle of a battle... what is history trying to make us do?
Haruko: Hey, hey, we're getting into some messy situation here. What's going to happen next?
Amarao: Somehow Naota and the others returned to the current time.
Haruko: Huh? What happened here?
Amarao: Huh?
Haruko: I mean, like how did they return... what they did during the civil war and all that...
Amarao: Hmm...that's a bit difficult.

(Audience laughter)

Haruko: What is that? You sound like some government official, Amarao. Oh well...ok...continue.
Amarao: All right. Naota and the others' seaside school continues...and this is where I want to touch on the subject of Genji Yasui, who runs the boarding house.

(Audience laughter)

Haruko: Huh? Who is that? Kamon, could you somehow wrap all this up?
Kamon: Uhh... Thus Naota became an adult. What remained behind were only the waves crashing on the beach...

(Audience laughter)

Haruko: Is that the end!?

(Audience laughter)

Haruko: So...Naota becomes an adult, huh? Umm...so he goes to sea, falls into a time slip, returns to sea and becomes an adult...Well...I guess if you say it all wrapped up neatly, I guess it did.

Haruko: Ok. The next topic. Every time something weird comes out of Takkun's head. And today, I want you all to tell us what you wouldn't want to see coming out of his head.
Mamimi: Yes!
Haruko: Yes~! Sameji
Sameji: A ready wit.
Haruko: Ohh...now that would be bad.

(Audience laughter)

Haruko: A ready wit would be bad...you know, just like Ikkyu-san. I mean, it would be bad if he solved a hard question with a ready wit every time.
Naota: Shogun. Ok, to start with, please let a tiger appear from the folding screen.
Haruko: Hey! Just like that, huh? That's bad. Oh, I forgot. Mimyu, give Sameji a zabuton.
Mimyu: Po pe po pen
Amarao: Ok. A demon... from Arabia.
Haruko: What's that?
Amarao: The drawing has a Disney flavor to it.
Haruko: Ohh...well, that surely would be a problem. Ok, take your zabuton.

(Audience laughter)

Amarao: Huh? Isn't something funny here?
Father: Yes.
Haruko: Yes, father? What would you not want to see coming out of Naota's head?
Father: Blood.
Haruko: Huh?
Father: Blood. A massive amount of blood.
Haruko: That would mean he's hurt, right? That he should go to a hospital. That's something that could really happen. Don't you have anything that you wouldn't want to see come out that's impossible in real life?
Father: Lice.
Haruko: Elementary school kids a long time ago, huh?
Father: A robot or something.
Haruko: Ohh...now that's already coming out.
Naota: Wheee~~~ Arrghh...Whoa!
Haruko: It really looks like something would come out of Takkun's head again...and it's also about time to end the Fooly Cooly version Ohgiri!
Naota: Whoa~~Ahhh!

(Audience applause)