Bloodhound Gang, The Take the Long Way Home Lyrics

Did you ever read voltaires candide?
He says live life at benny hill freak out speed
Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase
Make it up as you go keyser soze
Highlights yes but dont underline em
Just live for n.o.w. like gloria steinem
Life is like marion barry
Its not all that its cracked up to be
Like fred sanford when the big one comes
Find the meaning of life is there is none
Its twenty-four hours when you call it a day
Be frank and say I did it my way
Dont give a flying nun no dont give a gidget
Just have more fun than a well-oiled midget
If life were picture perfect you could frame it
But the world is a diaper so let someone else change it

Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride, take the long way home

All born equal unless youre canadian
Then halfway through decay like uranium
You define whats death-defying
Get the most out of life or at the least die trying
Are you evil knievel jumping a train?
Or running with scissors like frasier crane?
Have really good times doing really bad things
cause the show aint over til the fat lady sings
Like elton john with his candle in the wind
Its hard to blow out a flame as big as him
But weve all got to w___ chung with the grim reaper
Whether youre einstein whether youre beaker
Death is certain so its definitely worth flirtin
Dont expect a bright light no just curtains
Life is like a p____ most people dont know it
But most people suck so they usually blow it

Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home