Barnbrack Delaney's Donkey Lyrics

Now Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired, tempo'rily lazy and permanently
tired
A leg at ev'ry corner balancing his head, and a tail to let you know which end h
e wanted to be fed
Riley slyly said "We've underrated it, why not train it?" then he took a rag
They rubbed it, scrubbed it, they oiled and embrocated it, got it to the post an
d when the starter dropped his flag

There was Riley pushing it, shoving it, shushing it
Hogan, Logan and ev'ryone in town lined up attacking it and shoving it and smack
ing it
They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down
The donkey was eyeing them, openly defying them
Winking, blinking and twisting out of place
Riley reversing it, ev'rybody cursing it
The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race

The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch, they couldn't budge the donkey
a quarter of an inch
Delaney lay exhausted, hanging round its throat with a grip just like a Scotchma
n on a five pound note
Starter, Carter, he lined up with the rest of 'em. When it saw them, it was will
ing then
It raced up, braced up, ready for the best of 'em. They started off to cheer it
but it changed its mind again

There was Riley pushing it, shoving it and shushing it
Hogan, Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw, she started poking it, grabbing it and chokin
g it
It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed "Hee - Haw!"
The whigs, the conservatives, radical superlatives
Libr'rals and tories, they hurried to the place
Stood there in unity, helping the community
The day Delaney's donkey ran the halfmile race

The crowd began to cheer it. Then Rafferty, the judge he came to a__ist them, bu
t still it wouldn't budge
The jockey who was riding, little John MacGee, was so thoroughly disgusted that
he went to have his tea
Hagan, f__an was students of psychology, swore they'd shift it with some dynamit
e
They bought it, brought it, then without apology the donkey gave a sneeze and bl
ew the darn stuff out of sight

There was Riley pushing it, shoving it and shushing it
Hogan, Logan and all the bally crew, P'lice, and auxil'ary, the Garrison Artille
ry
The Second Enniskillen's and the Life Guards too
They seized it and harried it, they picked it up and carried it
Cheered it, steered it to the winning place
Then the Bookies drew aside, they all commited suicide
Well, the day Delaney's donkey won the halfmile race