Well I walk up to you and I shake your hand
Ask you how your day was, you were up all night, that sucks I understand
Now hurry the f___ up cause I don't want to wait
I'm in a hurry and it's your fault I'm stepping 20 minutes late

Cause I'm a pilot, I only care about me
I don't give a f___ if I bring your jet back code 2 or code 3
I'm a pilot and I never make mistakes
I'll take the credit if it aint broken, I'll blame you if it breaks

I don't even know where the oil filter lies
But I'll tell you fix it faster, goddammit! ‘Cause I'm the one who flies
And I'll leave FOD in the c___pit without even a trace
Then I'll over-g the targeting pod with a smile on my face

Cause I'm a pilot, I only care about me
I don't give a f___ if I bring your jet back code 2 or code 3
I'm a pilot and I never make mistakes
I'll take the credit if it aint broken, I'll blame you if it breaks

I'll put out some chaff, maybe a flare. Aw f___ it
Cause when I get back I want to see you have to replace the whole d___ bucket
And the ECM pod that one's my favorite joke
Forget to turn it on? f___ no! It just p___es me off when something aint broke

Cause I'm a pilot and I'm a mean old son of a b____. Yeah I know that it sucks that it's all cold and rainy outside and here I am all warm and toasty inside my c___pit. Hey crewchief, while you're at it, why don't you get my tapes for me? What? Do you think I want to hold this helmet bag all d___ day?

I'll p___ on your seat and blame it on a leak
Oh wait, gotta think of something else that's the same excuse that I used last week

When I'm taxiing in do whatever it is you do
You can do a dance, pull down your pants, I don't care I not even looking at you
And I'm sorry I scratched your jet up, maybe she had an itch
Cause your baby may have your name on her, but I just made her my b____

Cause I'm a pilot, I only care about me
I don't give a f___ if I bring your jet back code 2 or code 3
I'm a pilot and I never make mistakes
I'll take the credit if it aint broken, I'll blame you if it breaks

See also:
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69
69.30
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