I heard there is no Christmas in the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no santa claus
They have different relgious beliefs
They believe in Muhammed
And not in our holiday
And so every December i go to the Middle East
And say:

Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry f___ing Christmas
Put down that book of Quran
And hear some holiday wishes

Incase you haven't noticed
It's Jesus' birthday
So get of your heathen Muslim a__
And f___ing Celebrate

There is no holiday season in India Ive heard
They dont hang up their stocking
And that is just absurd
They never read a Chrismas story
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And thats why in December
I go to India and shout:

Hey there Mr. Hinduist
Merry f___ing Chrismas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus

Incase you haven't noticed
It's Jesus' birthday
So get of your heathen Hindu a__
And f___ing Celebrate

Now I heard that in j__an
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin
On December twenty-fifth
all they do is eat a cake
and that is why I'll go to j__an
and walk around and say:

Hey there Mr Shintoist
Merry f___ing Christmas
God is gonna kick your a__ You infidelic pagan scum
Incase you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
and Merry f___ing Christmas to you.

On Christmas Day, I travel round the world and say..
Taoists, Korishnas, Buddists
and all you atheists too
Merry f___ing Christmas to you
Thank you, Mr Hat

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