Deirdre Flint The Boob Fairy Lyrics

When I was in my teenage years, I did just what I should
I listened to my mother and I was kind and sweet and good
And my friends and I did rituals and I prayed with all my might
That this would be the evening that she'd stop along her flight
Well, that was several years ago and that chick's long overdue
And it's time I came to terms with something plainly clear to you.

The b___ fairy never came for me
No, the b___ fairy never came for me
Okay, I'm s____y and I'm cute and I've got a great personality
But the b___ fairy never came for me

Well, we were the third house on a country drive, I thought
Maybe she just got lost, so I hung my bra on the mailbox
Til the neighbors took it off
And all my friends got visits and expanded through the years
And left me wailing to the gods buying training bras at Sears
Still I harbor hopes, she'll come for me, I know she will
I'd get 'em done myself if she'd agree to foot the bill

The b___ fairy never came for me
No the b___ fairy never came for me
Look, I wasn't wanting melons, just a cute curvaceous "B"
But the b___ fairy never came for me.

This isn't a song about b___s. Not really.
The b___s are just a set of metaphors to symbolize
everyone's fear of human inadequacy.
Hey! We've all felt the pain of being
dissed by one fairy or another,
so during the next refrain I want you to join
in with your own fairy that never paid a call.
Maybe it's the height fairy or the b___ nymph.
Men, maybe it's the pectoral or hair fairy or maybe
some other fairy you just want to mumble about.
Look, nobody's going to ask you to enunciate.
And sisters, I don't want you feeling alienated
because you happen to be full-figured.
Just change the line to the b___ fairy
wouldn't let me be or the b___ fairy
became obsessed with me.
Okay, here comes the refrain.
Everybody join in.

The b___ fairy never came for me
No the b___ fairy never came for me
Though the hip fairy came two times
and the thigh fairy came three -
The b___ fairy never came for me.
That b___ fairy never came for me.