Intro

The Lonely Man from The Incredible Hulk 1977 Tv Series plays

YAMI: Previously on Yu-Gi-Oh!...

TÉA: Yugi, I think I'm pregnant, and Yami's the father!

JOEY: Tristan, don't leave me!

TRISTAN: I'm sorry, Joey, it's just not working out between us.

JOEY: But I love you!

TÉA: Yugi, I think I'm pregnant, and Weevil's the father!

YUGI: Grampa! So you're the one who shot Tristan!

GRAMPA: Yes, it was I!

TÉA: Yugi, I think I'm pregnant, and Bakura's the-

YUGI: No f*cking way.

TÉA: Okay, I lied about that one.

KAIBA GHOST: This time, Yugi, you don't stand a ghost of a chance!

TRISTAN: Yugi, I think I'm pregnant, and you're the father!

YAMI: And now, the thrilling conclusion! Wait a minute, did any of that stuff actually happen?

t__le sequence

At the Dueling Field

KIMO: Attention duelists! My hair has abducted this small child! If you want me to release him, you must first defeat Seto Kaiba's ghost in a duel!

YAMI: Are you trying to tell me that Kaiba came back from the dead just to play a card game with me?

KIMO: Yes!

YAMI: Either this is a trick, or this show is even dumber than I thought.

KAIBA GHOST: It's true Yugi, I've returned from the dead in order to defeat you. My desire for vengance was so strong that even hell itself could not hope to contain-

YAMI: OK, time out! Does anybody believe for even one second that this guy is a ghost?

TRISTAN: I do!

YAMI: Anyone besides Tristan?

Pause

TRISTAN: I do!

KAIBA GHOST: What's your point?

YAMI: My point is you're not a ghost. No f-ing way.

KAIBA GHOST: Then explain how I have this! The Hitotsu-Me Giant!

YAMI: (sarcastic) Oh. You're right. That definitely proves it.

KAIBA GHOST: Look, I'm a ghost, okay? Quit being such a jerk.

YAMI: If you're a ghost, then I'm straight.

Some random forest

KAIBA: Now that Pegasus thinks I'm dead, I can work on redeeming my character in the eyes of the fans! Wait a minute, how the hell did I climb up the side of a cliff while holding a briefcase? And, for that matter, how the hell did I get here? Into the Kaiba Cave!

Batman music plays and Kaiba enters his cave

COMPUTER: Hi there Kaiba, I'm your inappropriately voiced computer system.

KAIBA: Wait a second, do you mean I have to spend the entire episode talking to a machine?

COMPUTER: It's like looking in a mirror, isn't it?

KAIBA: Using my leet haxxor skills, I'm going to bring down one of Pegasus's satellites so that I can gain access to his computer systems. Hooray for cyber-terrorism!

COMPUTER: It looks like you're just pressing the same keys over and over again.

KAIBA: That's because I learned how to hack by watching old episodes of Star Trek.

COMPUTER: Since I'm such an advanced computer, I can make Pegasus's computer systems look like a really boring video game.

The blue screen of death appears on the computer

KAIBA: Ahh! The blue screen of death! My mortal enemy...

Back at the dueling field

KAIBA GHOST: You don't stand a ghost of a chance, Yugi, because this time I'm-

YAMI: How many times are you going to use that line?!

CAPTION: [honestly, they use that pun way too much. here, I'll prove it...]

KAIBA GHOST: [clip from actual episode] It's me, Kaiba, and this time, you don't stand a ghost of a chance!

KIMO: [clip from actual episode] Yugi, you don't have a ghost of a chance beating Kaiba because this time he is a ghost!

BONZ: [clip from actual episode] I'm afraid you don't stand a ghost of a chance in a duel against me!

CAPTION: Yu-Gi-Oh! - where bad puns go to die

SMALLER CAPTION: (Bonz cameo FTW!)

KAIBA GHOST: Whoooo-oooo, I'm a ghost, whoo-

YAMI: Oh, stop it! You're not fooling anyone.

TRISTAN: It's a ghost!

YAMI: Tristan doesn't count.

MOKUBA: That's not my brother! Everyone says he's a bad person, but it's not true!

YAMI: He stole my grandfather's favourite card, put him in the hospital and then left you at the mercy of his enemies! Face it kid, your brother's a giant p____!

Kaiba cave

KAIBA: Even though I'm his arch rival, I'm going to use this virus to help Yugi win. Finally, being a rich nerd pays off.

COMPUTER: You really do need to get laid.

Dueling field

YAMI: Aha! See? You're not a ghost at all! You're some kind of gay clown, apparently.

TEA: Eww! It's slightly more repulsive than regular clowns!

GAY CLOWN: Actually, I'm not a clown. I'm Seto Kaiba's evil side brought back from the Shadow Realm by Pegasus-

YAMI: That's even less believable than the whole ghost story! You don't even know what you are, do you?

GAY CLOWN: No...

YAMI: Didn't think so. MIND CRUSH!! Did I just kill a gay clown?

TRISTAN: That ghost didn't scare me, even if I did just sh*t my pants.

YAMI: He didn't stand a ghost of a chance!

(everyone laughs)

JOEY: Hey, what happened to Mokuba?

YAMI: Who cares?

End. The Batman song plays again

CAPTION: [i think i'm pregnant...]

Stinger:

TRISTAN MONKEY ROBOT: (as Bender) Bite my shiny metal a__.

JOEY: (as Fry) It doesn't look so shiny to me.

TRISTAN ROBOT MONKEY: Shinier than yours, meatbag.

Yami Bakura appears on screen along with the text: his time is at hand... (we're all going to die)

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
73
73.64
Pimsleur Mandarin Chinese I - Unit 06 Lyrics
04-Jia Zhuang Lyrics