A fine romance, my good fellow
You take romance, Ill take jello
Youre calmer than the seals
In the arctic ocean
At least they flap their fins
To express emotion

A fine romance with no quarrels
With no insults and all morals
Ive never mussed the crease
In your blue serge pants
I never get the chance
This is a fine romance

A fine romance, with no kisses
A fine romance, my friend this is
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But you're as cold as yesterdays mashed potatoes

A fine romance, you won't nestle
A fine romance, you won't wrestle
You're just as hard to land as the 'Ile de France'
I haven't got a chance
This is a fine romance

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