Howard R. Garis Curly and Floppy Twistytail the Funny Piggie Boys, Chapter 18: Mother Twistytail's New Bonnet Lyrics

STORY XVIII

MOTHER TWISTYTAIL'S NEW BONNET

"Archibald," said Mrs. Twistytail, the lady pig, to her husband at
the breakfast table one morning, "I think I shall have to have some
money today."

"Money? What for?" he asked. "Do the children need new shoes, or
have we no more coal left?"

"No, I want the money for myself," said the pig lady. "I need a new
bonnet, and I am going down town this morning and get it at the five
and ten dollar store."

"Very well," said Mr. Twistytail, good-naturedly, so he put his foot
in his pocket and took out a lot of money, which he gave to his
wife. Then he kissed Baby Pinky, and Curly and Flop good-by and went
to work in the phonograph factory where he put the squeaks in the
wheels.

"Oh, if you are going shopping for a new bonnet, mamma!" exclaimed
Flop, "may I come with you?"

"Yes, and may I?" asked Curly, as he spun around on his front paws
like a top under a Christmas tree. "And if you have any money left,
mamma, after getting your bonnet, maybe you will buy us each a hot
ice cream soda."

"Oh you boys!" cried Mrs. Twistytail with a laugh. "No, I am afraid
I can't take you two with me, for it is Baby Pinky's turn. You boys
had a nice time the other day, playing in the woods, when you saved
your papa and his hat from the wolf's den, and so now it is Pinky's
turn to have some fun. I'll take her shopping with me."

"Oh goodie!" cried Baby Pinky, and she jumped into her go-cart and
out again, making the springs jounce up and down like anything.

"But I'll give you and Flop each a penny," said Mrs. Twistytail to
Curly, "and you can buy some corn candy with sour milk on top."

That pleased the boy piggies very much, and they ran off to school
with their pennies, while Mrs. Twistytail got ready to go shopping
after her bonnet with Baby Pinky. Pretty soon they went down town
and in the five and ten dollar bonnet store.

"Have you any bonnets?" asked Mrs. Twistytail.

"Indeed I have," said the nice lady frog who kept the store. "I have
all kinds of bonnets," and then she sang a little song that went
something like this, to the tune "High diddle-diddle:"

"I've bonnets of ribbon, and bonnets of paper,
I've bonnets both red, white and blue.
Some bonnets of leather, for cold stormy weather,
And bonnets of feathers and glue.

"I've bonnets becoming, and some that are stunning;
I've bonnets to wear upside down.
And if you will try one, I'm sure you will buy one,
To go with your new party gown."

"I'm sure I will, too," said Mrs. Twistytail, as the frog lady
finished and made a little bow to the looking-glass. "You may show
me the blue one," she went on, and frog lady did.

"Oh, mamma! That is lovely!" cried Baby Pinky. "But I think one with
more flowers on would be nicer."

"I think so, too," spoke the pig lady, and so she bought a bonnet
with a lot of flowers on it that looked as real as those which grow
in the woods and fields. Then Pinky and her mamma started for home,
Mrs. Twistytail wearing her new bonnet.

"We'll take the short cut through the woods," said the pig lady when
they had alighted from the trolley car on which a nice toad
gentleman was the conductor, because he could hop on and off so
quickly, and not step on any one's toes.

So through the woods went Mrs. Twistytail and Pinky, and they had
not gone very far when, just as they got to the wolf's hollow log
den out of which Mr. Twistytail's hat rolled that day, up sprang the
bad, impolite old animal himself and grabbed the pig lady and her
little daughter.

"Ah, ha! Now I have you!" cried the wolf. "Your husband got away
from me, Mrs. Twistytail, but I have you, and you can't get away,
and I have Pinky, too!" and he held them both tightly, in his paws.

"Oh, please let us go!" begged Pinky.

"No," growled the wolf, sticking out his red tongue because he was
so hungry.

"Oh, do!" pleaded Mrs. Twistytail. "I'll give you all the money I
have left from shopping if you'll let us go."

"No! No!" answered the wolf, more growlier than before. "You have
none left. Besides money is no good to me--I can't eat money!"

"Oh, mercy!" cried Pinky. "Are you going to eat us?"

"Indeed I am," said the wolf, smacking his jaws, and then Pinky and
her mamma tried as hard as they could to get away from the wolf, but
they could not. Holding them tightly in his paws, the wolf started
for his den, and, seeing Mrs. Twistytail's new bonnet, he took it
off her head, roughly like, and said:

"And I can't eat this! I guess I'll throw that away, as I did your
husband's hat. But no one will see it and come to rescue you as they
did him."

"Oh, my lovely new bonnet!" cried Mrs. Twistytail, and Pinky felt so
badly that she cried. But you just wait a minute and see what
happens to that bad old wolf.

The wolf was just going to toss the bonnet, all covered with almost
real flowers as it was, away up in a tree and just about to carry
the pig lady and Pinky down into his den, when, all at once, there
was a buzzing sound in the air and a voice cried:

"Ah, ha! Here are some flowers. Now we can get some honey!"

"Indeed we can," said another voice up in the air. "It is rather
late for such blossoms, but I am glad we saw them in time. Come on,
now, everybody, get the honey!"

And with that a whole swarm of stingery honey bees flew down from
the sky toward Mrs. Twistytail's flowered bonnet that the wolf held
in his paw. You see, the bees thought the flowers were real and that
they could gather honey from them.

And then, just as Pinky saw the bees, she had an idea and she cried
out:

"Oh, dear little bees! That is my mamma's new bonnet, and the wolf
has caught us. Please sting him and make him let us go!"

"Don't you dare sting me!" growled the wolf. "Take the bonnet if you
wish, but don't touch me," and he threw the bonnet to one side.

Some of the bees alighted on the bonnet, and as soon as they found
that the flowers were not real they got quite angry. And they
thought the wolf had played a trick on them, so they flew at him,
and stung him on his nose and tail and eyes and lips and even on his
tongue, until he cried out with pain and fright. Then he let go of
Pinky and her mamma and ran down into his den, and the pig lady was
safe. The bees never stung them once, but were very kind to them,
and with their wings brushed the dirt off Mrs. Twistytail's bonnet
so that it was as good as new.

Then the bees flew away, Mrs. Twistytail and Pinkey went safely
home, and the wolf had to stay in his den for a week and put witch
hazel on his stings.

So that's all tonight, if you please, but next, in case the kitchen
stove doesn't go out on the porch and play hide-and-seek with the
hammock, I'll tell you about Curly and the sour milk.