Chicago Funny Honey Lyrics

[Announcer]
For her first number
Miss Roxie Hart
Would like to sing a song
Of love and devotion
Dedicated to her dear husbund
Amos

[Roxie]
Sometimes I'm right
Sometimes I'm wrong
But he doesn't care
He'll string along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

Sometime's I'm down
Sometime's I'm up
But he follows round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He love me so
That funny honey of mine

He ain't no sheik
That's no great physique
And Lord knows he ain't got the smarts
But look at that soul
I tell you that whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts

And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree

What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why he'd be right there
Taking the blame
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny sunny honey
Hubby of mine

[Amos]
I mean supposing
Just supposing he'd violated her or something
You know what I mean?
Violated?

[Fogarty]
I know what you mean

[Amos]
Or something
Think how terrible that would have been
It's a good thing I got home from work on time
I'm telling you that

[Roxie]
He loves me so

[Amos]
I say I'm telling you that

[Roxie]
That funny honey of mine

[Fogarty]
Name of deceased Fred Casely

[AMOS]
Fred Casely?
How could he be a burglar?
My wife knows him
He sold us our furniture
He gave us 10% off

[Roxie]
Lord knows he ain't got the smarts

[Amos]
You told me he was a burglar

[FOGARTY]
You mean he was dead when you got home?

[Amos]
She had him covered with a sheet
And she's telling me some c___ and bull story
About this burglar
And how I ought to say I did it
Because I was sure to get off
Help me Amos she said
"It's my g______ hour need"

[Roxie]
Now he shot off his trap
I can't stand that sap
Look at him go
Ratting on me
With just one more brain
What a half-wit he'd be
If they string me up
Well I'll know who
Brought the twine
That scummy crummy
Dummy hubby of mine

[AMOS]
And I believed her
That cheap little tramp
So she was two-timing me huh?
Well then she can just
Swing for all I care
Boy I'm down at the garage
Working my b___ off fourteen
Hours a day and she's up munching
On god-d___ bon bons
And traveling around like some g______ floozy
Thought she could pull the wool over my eyes
But I wasn't born yesterday
I tell you there are somethings that I can take
Bu this time she pushed me too far
I didn't shoot him
Boy what a sap I was