Weren't we the rare oul' stock
Spent the evenin' gettin' locked
Up in the Ace of Hearts
Where the high stools were engaging
Over the b___ Bridge down by the dock
The boat she sailed at five o' clock
"Hurry boys" said Whack
"Or before we're there we'll all be back"

Carry him if you can, the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man

Before we reached Alexander Base
The ding dong we did surely raise
In the bar of the ship we had great sport
As the boat she sailed out of the port
Landed up in Douglas Head
Enquired for a vacant bed
The dining room we soon got shown
By a decent woman up the road

Lads, eat it if you can, the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man

Next morning we went for a ramble round
Viewed the sights of Douglas Town
Then we went for a mighty session
In a pub they call d___ Darby's
We must have been drunk by half past three
To sober up we went swimmin' in the sea
Back to the digs for the spruce up
While waiting for the rosy

We all drew up our plan, the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man

That night we went to the Texas bar
Came back down by horse and car
We met Big Jim and all went in
To drink some wine in Yates's
The Liverpool Judies, it was said
Were all to be found in Douglas Head
McShane was there in his suit and shirt
Them foreighn girls he was truin' to flirt

Sayin' "Hey girls I'm your man", the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man

Whacker fancied his good looks
On an Isle of Man woman he was struck
But a Liverpool lad was by her side
Throwin' the jar into her
Whacker thought he'd take a chance
He asked the quare one out to dance
Around the floor they stepped it out
To Whack it was no bother

Everythin' was goin' to plan, the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man

The Isle of Man woman fancied Whack
Your man stood there 'till his mates came back
Whack! They all whacked into Whack
And Whack was whacked out on his back
The police force arrived as well
Banjoed a couple of them as well
Landed up in Douglas jail
Untill the Dublin boat did sail

Deported every man, the crack was ninety in the Isle of Man

See also:
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The Good Luck Joes Much Too Young Lyrics