Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant The Ricky Gervais Show 2002-10-05 Lyrics

Nudism

Hold on, can you be a naked transvestite? What are you then? When Eddie Izzard is naked, is he a naked transvestite?

Abuse

-E-mail him back, say: "Paul, give us eight quid for no reason"
-I've also called him some quite offensive names... I'll put ehm, "From Gervais"
-O dear, he's not gonna like that, nor is his mother, you shouldn't have brought her into it...

Law

-Oh what, if you wee on something...
-Yeah, you own it, that's cat law.
-I know you live by cat law... My wallet I think you own, and ehm, much of my hair.

Arousal

-I was talking about the weather, how nice it was.
-And he approached in pole position, or did he...
-I don't like it anymore, I don't like it anymore!

Plug

You don't sort of have a deal with Island Records, trying to keep their Cat Stevens back catalogue afloat, no-one is really shipping it...

Prince

-I partied last night Rick, like it was 1999 all over again.
-What in an old-fashioned sort of way, some old records...?
-On my own, in my flat, crying.

Afterparty

I'll be honest, Lanky, your chances are slim to none, four-eyes.

Celeb

Well, the phrase I was just gonna pick you up on there was "I've just seen your video"...cos what I feel that David should know is that it wasn't made solely by you, or written entirely by you, or directed entirely by you, it happens to feature you amongst a myriad of actors all of whom are brilliant and equally worthy of an invite...

Bowie

Don't even start on that Rick, there's so much I could attack you about, I mean, look at you, look at you, you're laughable.

Annoying

...eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh...

Phobia

Because I don't have any irrational fears particularly, except when you're flatulent, that I'm terrified of, cos you never know when he's gonna spring...

Nothing

Some people will say that's because we're running on empty and ran out of things to say at twenty past the first hour, I say it's because we wanna get in some great tracks.

Classics

-Coming up next: a beautiful tune by Danny Wilson... Mary's Prayer! It's Mary's Prayer! It can only be Mary's Prayer. It doesn't work if they've had one hit.
-Or a tune from Hear'say...oh I hate em all!

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