Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
everybody was stoned, even the mouse.

Man from the w____ house and me from the jail,
I just settled down to get a piece of her tail.

When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter,
I tripped on my d___ and busted my bladder!

I went downstairs and what did I see?!
A fat little red f__et hangin' from a tree.

He stuffed the stockings with reefers and beer,
and a big fat hairy d___ for the family queer.

That's the end of my story. Funny wasn't it, ya see?

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