Monty Python Philosopher's Beer Drinking Song Lyrics

Immanuel Kant was a real p___ant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could drink you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
SOCRATES, HIMSELF, WAS PERMANENTLY p___ED...

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Hall drank whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a b_____ for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a b_____ when he's p___ed!