Apologetix Crowd of Foreign Girls Lyrics

Parody of "California Girls" by The Beach Boys
(1 Kings 11, Numbers 25:1-3, Nehemiah 13:26-27)

Well, Egypt girls are hip, I really dig my wife from there
And the Sidon girls with their pagan gods
They Tyred me out and I got snared
The Middle East foreign leaders gave me pagan female wives

And the Moab girls with the way they kiss
They make their boyfriends Moabites
I kissed an awful big crowd of foreign girls
I guess they altered me kinda sorta

My wisdom faltered because of foreign girls
I guess I had a fun time as the world's most richest man
I think I had at least a thousand wives counting concubines

From all these different lands
I ran around with pagan girls
And I gave 'em all diamonds n' pearls
Yeah, but I should've stayed with girls who had the same faith

That's with the Jewish girls in the world
I'd list them all and recount 'em for ya
I just don't want to be proud and bore ya
It's just an awful big crowd of foreign girls
So listen close to me I'll inform ya

(Girls, girls, girls yeah I said)
My ship got lost at sea kinda sorta
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I said)
I switched philosophies now I'll warn ya
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I said)
They just ain't worth the grief I implore ya
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I said)

NOTE:
In case you don't know, the lands of Tyre and Sidon go hand in hand (like Sodom and Gomorrah), hence Solomon's pun about how Sidon girls "Tyred" him out. The Moab girls, you may remember, were used by Balaam and the king of the Moabites in Numbers 25:1-3 to seduce the Israelite males and get them to indulge in idolatry, so that's why the song mentions them making "their boyfriends Moabites." The line about the girls "altering" Solomon is a pun also, because those pagan wives led him to build altars for their pagan gods, and this definitely altered his standing with God and his whole life. Solomon also was a ship builder who sent many ships out to sea (1 Kings 9:26-28, 10:22), leading to the pun about
getting lost at sea. Class dismissed.