Half Man Half Biscuit Reasons to be Miserable Lyrics

fairly attractive girl walks past a building site,
And from underneath an industrial safety helmet you hear: (wolf-whistle) Ta Neil (thanking Neil)
And you stand there
Witnessing the whole Neanderthal situation
Wanting to twist your own brain out
As they sit satisfied on their newly built wall
Laughing their hods off.

"Cringe!"

Chorus:
Reasons to be miserable,
Another good excuse to be dead.
It's one more thing to gripe about
As I while away my time in bed.

And then there's the person who collects all things "Piero",
And loves Siamese cats,
And thinks they're sophisticated because they eat Fries' Chocolate Cream,
And who'd do anything to spend the night
With that fellow off the turkish delight advert,
Who is full of instant mono-sodium glutimate,
And they always have a portrait of a sad clown on the wall,
And who go to charity shops,
And tend to become slightly o_____ic
At the thought of vampire l___.

"Cringe!"

Chorus x 2

And I don't know anyone who puts peaches on their cornflakes, either