Well, lately I been noticin' a gradual escalation,
In your inability to handle your libation.
Go zero to sixty,
When you get on the whiskey.

Well, used to be a glass of wine an' you'd be fine all evenin'.
Now I'm the one who says:We're done,an' tells us when we're leavin'.
Well, I miss the way that it was,
Can't even catch a good buzz.

'Cause I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home,
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone.
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab.
I don't mean to make you mad,
But I don't want that responsibility,
An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me.

Well, I never thought it'd come to this when I said: Have another.
'Cause, baby, you turned into me, an' I became my mother.
Well, here's what I'm thinkin':
You're interferin' with my drinkin'.

I think I have an answer to our present situation,
'Cause you an' me out on the town's got built in limitations.
So let me make this clear:
Hey I'm the one who's drinkin' here.

'Cause I ain't worryin' about who's drivin' home,
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone.
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab.
I don't mean to make you mad,
But I don't want that responsibility,
An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me.

I ain't tryin' to ruin your good time.
But I d___ sure ain't lettin' yours ruin mine.
You ain't gonna ruin my good time, baby.

I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home,
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone.
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab.
I don't mean to make you mad,
But I don't want that responsibility,
An' I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me.
No, I can't be with a woman, baby, who gets drunker than me, yeah.

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