I plopped down in my easy chair
And turned on channel two.
A bad gunslinger called Salty Sam
Was chasing poor Sweet Sue.

He trapped her in the old sawmill
And said with an evil laugh.
"If you don't give me
The deed to your ranch
I'll saw you all in half."

And then he grabbed her.
(And then?)
He tied her up.
(And then?)
He turned on the buzzsaw!
(And then? And then?)

[Chorus]
And then along came Jones.
Tall thin Jones.
Slow walkin' Jones.
Slow talkin' Jones.
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones.

Commercial came on,
So I got up to get myself a snack.
You should've seen what was going on
By the time that I got back.
Down in the old abandoned mine
Sweet Sue was having fits.
That villain said,
"Give me the deed to your ranch
Or I'll blow you all to bits."

And then he grabbed her.
(And then?)
He tied her up.
(And then?)
He lit the fuse to the dynamite!
(And then? And then?)
Aah-aah!

[Chorus]

[Instrumental/Saxophone Break]

I got so bugged, I turned it off
And turned on another show.
But there was the same old shoot 'em up
And the same old rodeo.
Salty Sam was trying to stuff
Sweet Sue in a burlap sack.
He said, "If you don't
Give me the deed to your ranch,
I'm gonna throw you
On the railroad tracks."

And then he grabbed her.
(And then?)
He tied her up again.
(And then?)
He throwed her on the railroad tracks.
(And then?)
A train started coming!
(And then? And then?)
Aah-aah!

[Chorus]

Along came long, lean, lanky Jones.
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones.
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones.

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