Flight Of The Conchords Hip Hopopotamus Meets The Rhymenoceros Lyrics

Bret:
yeah .. uh huh.. yeah.. yeah
They call me the rhymenocerous
Not because I'm fat
Not because I've got birds on my back
Because I'm h____, I'm h____
When I'm on the mic
I'm like global warming
You can't ignore me
In the bedroom I'm the gentleman
The ladies come before me
Check your yellow pages I'm a registered rhymenaecologist
Now I'm passing over the mic to the hiphop-potamus

Jemaine:
Yeah, They call me the hiphop-potamus

Bret:
Sometimes my rhymes are polite
like, "Thank you Mrs. Johnson for dinner, that was delicious; goodnight"
Other times they're obscence
like a p___ographic r18 dream
about b____es smothered in margarine
ha ha ha (gun sound affects)

Jemaine:
They call me the hiphop-potamus
I got flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin off the top of this esophageus
I'm Not a water dwelling mammal from Africa
thats moved to the metroplois
and been taught how to break dance
where did you get that preposterous hypothesis
did steve tell you that?
What's he got to do with it?
What kind of rapping name is Steve?
.. Steve

Both guys:
Other rappers diss me
Say my rhymes are sissy
What, what, what, why, why, why?
Jemaine:
Be more constructive with your feedback

Bret:
Because I rap about reality
Like me and my grandma having a cup of tea?
Both guys:
Ain't no party like my nana's tea party
Hey-ho

Bret:
Freestyle, hiphop-potamus
Freestyle hiphop-potamus style
Jemaine:
I'm freestylin just saying what comes into the top of my head
like its just ra-random.. ra-ra-random
ooo.. Ooo..
Theres a picture of New York
Theres a picture of New York
Theres a big fat crazy picture of New York
I'm just free.. New York.. fr-freestyling
Picture of New York!
Freestyling..
Sometimes when i freestyle..
i lose confidence

My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all of the ladies in the first two rows pregnant
But you lovely b____es and hoes should know
I'm trying to correct this

Bret:
When i say Ooo, all the ladies go AH!
OO, oO
When i go Ooo, all the fellas go arG ARG!
Oo, OO
But keep it real s__y fellas...
OO, Oo
Thats my dogs!
When i go Ooo, all the ladies go OO flight of the conchords, youre so big!
OO!
Wow, thank you

Jemaine:
Thank you ladies, you didn't have to say that