What in all of Heaven could have prompted her to go
After such a triumph at the ball
What could have depressed her
What could have possessed her
I cannot understand the wretch at all

Women are irrational, that's all there is to that
Their heads are full of cotton, hay and rags
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating
Calculating, agitating, maddening, and infuriating hags

Why can't a woman be more like man
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square
Eternally noble, historically fair
Who when you win will always give your back a pat
Why can't a woman be like that

Why does every one do what the others do
Can't a woman learn to use her head
Why do they do everything their mothers do
Why don't they grow up like their father instead

Why can't a woman take after a man
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please
Whenever you're with them you're always at ease
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
Of course not
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
Nonsense
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
Never!
Well, why can't a woman be like you

One man in a million may shout a bit
Now and then there's one with slight defects
One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit
But by in large we are a marvelous s__

Why can't a woman take after a man
Men are so friendly, good natured and kind
A better companion you never will find
If I were hours late for dinner would you bellow?
Of course not
If I forgot your silly birthday would you fuss?
Nonsense
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
Never!
Why can't a woman be like us

Why can't a woman be more like a man
Men are so decent, such regular chaps
Ready to help you through any mishaps
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum
Why can't a woman be a chum

Why is thinking something women never do
Why is logic never even tried
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside

Why can't a woman behave like a man
If I were a woman who'd been to a ball
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing
Carry on as if my home were in a tree
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going
Why can't a woman be like me?

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
80
80.29
STAIND - dysfunction 01 - Suffocate Lyrics
Lady Radiator Scientist, The Spaceship Lyrics