Well I fell asleep on the couch last night, and I woke up with the TV on
It's going pretty good so far [chuckles]*
There was a woman in tight cotton exercise shorts and a big plastic machine she was climbing on
She said "The Abacycle guarantees ten inches off your waist, you lose 50 pounds in just 3 minutes a day"
Well I went to bed knowing the revolution had been postponed and everything was ok

You can try it, you can buy it, it'll help you in bed, but don't be fooled folks, there's only one
I forget that guy's name but somebody said "Sell it and they will come, boys just sell it and they will come"

Well I switched the channels and there was Evel Kenievel, I thought that he was dead
I found myself sitting there quietly, hanging on each and every word that he said
And he said "Now folks, the Stimulator guarantees to remove all pain from your life, and the best day of your life will be when you try this little device out"
The camera moved in as he said, "Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, pain's something old Evel knows a little bit about"

You can try it, you can buy it, it'll help you in bed, but don't be fooled folks, there's only one
I forget that guy's name but somebody said "Sell it and they will come, boys just sell it and they will come"

Well a fellow comes on shouting "Free haircuts for life!", somehow you cut your hair with your vacuum cleaner
They actually sell that in the States*
And then I switched channels and there was Dionne Warwick, communing with her psychic friends
I watched for hours, taking warmth, comfort, and pleasure in things that I despise
Touched by how much they needed me and my thirty nine ninety five

You can try it, you can buy it, it'll help you in bed, but don't be fooled folks, there's only one
I forget that guy's name but somebody said "Sell it and they will come, boys sell it and they will come"

So Dionne, Cher, and all my late-night friends, well I drink to your health
And Tony Little, America's personal trainer, please kill yourself
Now I've sold a few things myself in my time, and by the way folks, there's some t-shirts on your way outside
Well last night I dreamed of lipstick and tight little cotton shorts, "Harder, faster", she breathed, "One, two, three, four, five", ride Sally ride, girl ride Sally ride

You can try it, you can buy it, it'll help you in bed, but don't be fooled folks, there's only one
I forget that guy's name but somebody said "Sell it and they will come, boys sell it and they will come"

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
81
81.8
Kem Tonight Lyrics
Buricul Pamantului Razna Lyrics