If I could talk to the animals, just imagine it,
Chattin' with a chimp in chimpanzee,
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting with a cheetah,
What a neat achievement it would be!

If we could talk to the animals, learn all their languages,
I could take an animal degree,
I'd study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle,
Alligator, guinea pig, and flea!

I would converse in polar bear and python,
And I would curse in fluent kangaroo,
If people ask me "can you speak rhinocerous?"
I'd say "of courserous! Can't you?"

If I conferred with our furry friends, man to animal,
Think of the amazing repartee
If I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals,
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals,
And they could talk to me!

If I consulted with quadrupeds
Think what fun we'd have asking over crocodiles for tea!
Or maybe lunch with two or three lions, walruses and sea lions
What a lovely place the world would be!

If I spoke slang to orangutans
The advantages why any fool on earth could plainly see!
Discussing Eastern art and dramas
With intellectual llamas
That's a big step forward you'll agree!

I'd learn to speak in antelope and turtle
And my Pekinese would be extremely good
If I were asked to sing in hippopotamus
I'd say "whynotamous?

See also:
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