Hey Harry Potter
what's it like to be an orphan
who was raised under the stairs
and magically u started morphin me into

A drok who readsall about you
and Hogwarts too

Hey Harry Potter
it's not fair to use a spell
to make a grown man read a child's book
and purchase all your movies
don't you know
I camped out at barne's and nobles store
wearing a robe

Ohhh, it's what you do to me
even though I'm 33
I'm obssesed now
can't you see
names my child Hermoine
even though it's a he

Hey Harry Potter
now my life is getting hard
because my wife left me right
after I tattooed a lightning scar
right on my head
and told her she looked like Hagrid
when she's naked

Hey Harry Potter
I've got o so many questions
if I ever were to meet you
like do you have good suggestions
for myself
on how to dress me like an elf
or could you help

Ohhh, it's what you do to me
put the sorting hat on me
give me grotesque bertie beans
I'll devour them with glee

I've got your posters on my door
and sweat shirts tha say Gryffindor
lost all my friends
cause they all think I'm gay

I took my wand and grabbed a broom
and snuck into the ladies room
the invisibility cloak didn't work that day
one lady slugged me with her purse
I said I was under the imperius curse
they did not believe me
and the police came
and you're to blame

Hey Harry Potter
now I'm missing you
and jonesing seven years
and now you're done with school
and Mrs J.K. Rowling says you're threw
but I'll never be threw with you
I'll do whate're you tell me too

Stalk Daniel Radcliff,
yes it's true
Rupert Grint, too

Ohhh, it's what you do to me
you and Ron and Hermoine
I'm pathetic can't you see
but I wouldn't change a thing
I'm down with Harry P.

Ooohohohoo until end

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