A fine romance, with no kisses,
A fine romance, my friend this is.
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes,
But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes.
A fine romance, you won't nestle,
A fine romance, you won't wrestle.
I might as well play bridge
With my old maid aunts,
I haven't got a chance,
This is a fine romance.

A fine romance, with no kisses,
A fine romance, my friend this is.
We two should be like clams in a dish of chowder,
But we just fizz like parts of a Seidlitz powder.
Yes, a fine romance, with no glitches,
A fine romance, with no b____es.
You're just as hard to land as the 'Isle de France,'
I haven't got a chance,
This is a fine romance.

A fine romance, my good fellow,
You take romance, and I'll take jello.
You're calmer than the seals
In the Arctic Ocean;
At least they flap their fins
To express emotion.
A fine romance with no quarrels,
With no insults and all morals.
I've never mussed the crease
In your blue serge pants,
I never get the chance,
This is a fine romance.

Yes, a fine romance, my dear d____ss,
Two old fogeys, who need crutches.
True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has,
But we don't have the thrills that the march of time has (Ba-ba-da-day!).
A fine romance, my good woman,
My strong, age in the wood woman,
You never give the orchids I sent a glance.
No, you like cactus plants (ha ha),
This is a fine romance.

A fine romance, my dear d____ss,
Two old fogeys, who need crutches.

True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has.
You know, Louis, we don't have half the thrills that the march of time has.

You telling me; fine romance, my very good woman,
My strong, aged in the wood woman,
You never give the orchids I sent a glance,

No I prefer cactus plants,
This is a fine romance!

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
84
84.14
Frankie Valli & 4 Seasons My Eyes Adored You (1974) Lyrics
innuendo Nanti Lyrics