Tripod Kempt Lyrics

Yon: I've been doing a course at the Council of Adult Education in Advanced Linguology. That's the name of the subject.
Gatesy: What... what's Linguology?
Yon: Dunno, we haven't done that yet.

And we're studying the whole phenomenon of prefixes - you know, words with little words on the front of them, like "in" or "un" or "ex". And the interesting thing is, a lot of the words that have prefixes on them seem to... well, once they have the prefix, seem to be the opposite of words that don't even seem to exist, for example, "incessant", take the "in" off that and you've got "cessant". "I'm too cessant for my car" - what the hell's that? Never heard that.
Gatesy: Not a word!
Yon: So I thought I'd write a song with a whole lot of words in that.

Yon: My life was completely astrous when I met you,
Scod: Not "disastrous"...
Yon: So gruntled with this life I thought I had,
Scod: Opposite of "disgruntled"...
Yon: How could a love so perfect be so vincible?
Scod: Not "invincible"...
Yon: I could have sworn that you were scrutable,
My judgement was so bad.
Scod: "Bad", opposite of "unbad".

Yon and Scod: But you were kempt, so kempt,
Everything about you was seemly.
Tripod: You were kempt, so kempt,
Yon: Of course I'd be bedevilled,
So gusting and so shevelled,
Were you.

It started out so wholesome, so pure,
Gatesy and Scod: Tell 'em about it...
Yon: We engaged in speakable acts.
Gatesy and Scod: Nothing too saucy...
Yon: Although we had hibitions, we were totally toward,
Gatesy and Scod: You should have seen it coming,
Yon: But I'd always had a tendency to...
Tripod: ... under react.

Our love is defunct,
When it once was funct.
You've debunked all the myths,
You had previously bunked.

Yon and Scod: When you were kempt, so kempt,
Everything about you was seemly.
Tripod: You were kempt, so kempt,
Gatesy and Scod: Of course he'd be bedevilled,
Yon: So gusting and so shevelled,
Were you.

Gatesy and Scod: You always seemed so honest...
Yon: ... and so sidious.
Yon: You were an angel.

Gatesy and Scod: I checked your phone bill...
Yon: ... it was full of crepancies.
Yon: Everything was in order!

Gatesy and Scod: But I found out one evening, you'd been creet,
Yon: Aha!
Tripod: When you and your ex,
Booked a motel cognito.

Yon: Your ex! Your ex!
It was a personal attack!
You were going out with prefixes,
Behind my back!

(Yon bursts into tears)

Gatesy: Look what's happened to the little fella now, huh!
His heart's completely roken.
Although he does hang out with serious lappers, you know, the kind of lutty type.

Scod: Gatesy... this song's not actually about just taking the first letter off words.
Gatesy: What? I mean, hat?
Scod: Gatesy, this song's about... it's about prefixes! All right? Like "in" or "ex" or "un". If you find an "un" in a word and you take that out.

Gatesy: As in, as in... you're not very "fny"?
Scod: I... yeah... I think a better example is, you're a "ct".

(Long pause)

Gatesy: Hey!

Scod: Let's have another crack at it, shall we?

Scod: He asked you questions, no more terrogation,
Gatesy: He acted, and he umped... dumped you straight away.
Gatesy and Scod: You're free, enjoy your newfound carceration,
Yon: You're the ex I'd always pected,
I'll never member you again,
You always derstood me anyway.

Tripod: You sent a bliminal message,
By cheating with your ex.
But I just think you had,
A feriority complex.

Yon: But anyway, I've found someone else.

Yon: And she is kempt, so kempt,
Gatesy and Scod: Ooooo...
Yon: Everything about her is seemly.
Gatesy and Scod: Ooooo...
Tripod: She is kempt, so f___ing kempt!
Her Christian name is "Ingrid",
Yon: She lets me call her "Grid".

Tripod: And she takes off her derpants for me!